validation
I wrote a thing during work today, and I like it so much, I want to post it here, with all my glasses and my shoes, so I have them.
What neither one of us knew was that, once I found that validation and worthiness within myself, I didn’t need it from any external source. And there’s a lesson there that I’m going to billboard: the external validation we crave from others is never as satisfying or lasting as the internal validation we give ourselves.
This project hasn’t been announced, and won’t be for awhile. I’m working my face off on it right now, and have been for most of a year, between acting and voice acting jobs. If I can stay on schedule, it will be out early next year in print and audio and maybe some kind of media that hasn’t been invented, but will be invented between now and then.
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"the internal validation" that's the key 👍🏻
Yes. It takes a while in life to learn this, but nothing is a freeing as this realization.
The best reward is the one that comes from us. We're the only ones who know our own journey. The internal validation is the key.
This is North American bullshit. While internal validation is more stable, and can reduce the external need, we take this "self-sufficiency" value to an unhealthy level that, as one of its many issues, discounts/discludes how most of our values actually start from external sources and become internalized. This ranges from everything from morals to self-consciousness - remember how kids will just sing and draw and run with no valuation of skill until others start judging and ranking them?Also, remember that arrogant, narcissistic and sociopathic individuals have plenty of internal validation. Internal validation in and of itself is not necessarily honest nor healthy, although it can be a part of both those qualities. External readings is essential to us as human beings and as members of a society.
While it is great for Wheaton to develop a stable force within himself and is likely (based on his other writings) an essential part of his growth, we (outside commenters) need to stop talking about it as though it is everyone's ideal for every situation. Similarly, we need to stop judging those on the sole fact that some of the validation being sought is external: a healthy person seeks both at different times and for different issues.
Thank you for sharing this! I had to work on this myself both in my creative work and, especially, when I got sober a few years back. It's an ongoing project but, yes, this!
Both internal and external validation are necessary, and healthy. Both can also be abused. Relying too much on external validation can lead to a roller coaster of emotions culminating in depression. Relying too much on internal validation can lead to a disassociation from reality. I've found that since I tend to seek external validation, it's more important for me to focus on internal, though not exclusively. I'm pretty sure that those who tend to seek internal validation should try to focus more on external. Having a healthy balance of both is what's important.
Claire wrote: "Also, remember that arrogant, narcissistic and sociopathic individuals have plenty of internal validation. "Actually you're wrong. Narcissists have no internal validation. They need constant external validation in order to survive. Anyone who has ever been in any sort of relationship with a narcissist knows that everything a narcissist accuses you of is exactly what they think of themselves. They cultivate these relationships in order to manipulate you into giving them the praise they feel they deserve, and only keep you around as long as you give that to them, because they can't give it to themselves.
Wil Wheaton is 100% correct.
