Leaving is NOT an Option - Domestic Violence (Part Two)

I am a Domestic Violence Victim. Or am I a Domestic Violence Survivor? They label us as BOTH, but they are really the same.  

WE ARE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIMS WHO HAVE SURVIVED.  

My ex-boyfriend physically, verbally, emotionally, mentally and spiritually abused me.
 
Not only is it hard for me to talk about, but then the justice system TOTALLY let me down.
 
Surprise, surprise!
 
I cannot tell you how many “prosecutors” told me I didn’t have a case. When I questioned it ...  “What do you mean? There are pictures the police took of my face and my body. How could I not have a case?” … they pretty much said the said thing, “Our justice system is screwed up and because of that he’s going to get off.” And he did.

I’m just ANOTHER woman who has been beaten by a man. That’s it! End of story. I didn’t die, so it’s okay. He didn’t kill me, so it’s all good.  

Just. Move. On.
 
I’m going to start it off like this:

After I FINALLY filed charges on my abuser, I had a detective call me and tell me that he would/could face prison time and lose his job, because it was his SECOND Domestic Violence charge, so that made it a third degree felony. I immediately stepped back, just like soooo many victims do. Prison time? Lose his job? I don’t want to ruin the guy’s life.  

(REALLY? The way he ruined mine?)  

Our thinking becomes so distorted after enduring such evilness.

I told the detective to drop the charges, because I didn’t want to be responsible for sending someone to prison.  

IMMEDIATELY, my friends and family stepped in. “You didn’t ruin his life. He ruined it on his own by his choices. Don’t take responsibility for his punishment when he’s the one who caused it by his own hands. He could have changed at some point in his life, but chose not to. He’s evil.”  

I thought about this long and hard and I understood their point, but it wasn’t until I spoke to my counselor a few days later that I decided to go ahead with the charges.  

And here’s why.
 
LADIES, listen up!!!!!
 
My counselor was in an abusive relationship with a man and she finally left him. She filed charges against him, but then dropped them. I’m guessing for the same reason we all do. She didn’t want to go through another battle, she wanted it to just be over. Be done with it and move on.  

Well, six months later she got a call from the police and they informed her that her ex-boyfriend she didn’t file charges against had killed his current girlfriend. She had two small children and it was her parents who had to make the decision to take her off life support.
 
My counselor, who is a very beautiful, sweet soul, has to live with that decision for the rest of her life.

She asked me point blank, “Can you live with this? Because I don’t think you can. No one can.”
 
I reinstated the charges at that point and felt good about it. We, THE VICTIMS, THE SURVIVORS, did NOT do this to ourselves. We are VICTIMS of abusive, evil men who lurk and watch and prey on innocent women. Women they consider to be weak. I admit, I’d been through a lot of life tragedies when I met my ex-boyfriend. He knew I was extremely vulnerable at that point in my life, so I was the PERFECT PREY for him. The ideal victim.  

I don’t want to get into a lot of detail or drag this out. So I’m just going to list SOME of the abuse I went through and then I will post pictures.
   
My ex-boyfriend:

Cheated on me repeatedly throughout the relationship.Was seeing escorts/prostitutes.Was a raging alcoholic.Threw my cat across the yard when she was in her kennel, twice, injuring her.Put all my car windows down during a storm and soaked the inside of my interior.Ripped the gas cap cover off my car. Vandalized my car on several occasions.Broke my $1,500 laptop I needed for my new job.Ripped up a bunch of my clothing on numerous occasions.Broke the majority of my makeup, repeatedly.Stole my notebook I had my counseling notes written in.Tried to get me fired from my job by contacting the CEO of my company and telling lies about me.Turned the electricity off in the house so I would be in the dark all night.Punched holes in walls.Broke doors down when I would lock myself in a room to get away from him.Dumped the food I would cook down the sink.Purposely turned the water off and on in the kitchen while I was in the shower, so I couldn’t take a comfortable shower.Would turn the AC off (remember, this is Texas) and remove the thermostat off the wall.Would turn the thermostat up or down so it would be either too cold or too hot.Would open up the doors and windows so my cat would run away.Constantly bashing my head into walls or punching me in the head.Shoved cigarettes into my mouth.Flipped me backwards in chairs numerous times.  Dragged me off the bed by my ankles on numerous occasions.Threw me into a pile of broken glass repeatedly, causing a deep wound on my foot and did not offer to take me to the hospital or pay the doctor’s bill. I had major nerve damage.  Head-butted me on numerous occasions.Threw me into the fireplace causing severe injuries to my face. Again, refused to help me get medical attention.Hitting me, shoving me down to the ground repeatedly, kicking me, grabbing me by my hair. Bruises all over my body and face on a consistent basis to where I wasn't able to go out or to work until they healed.Locking me out on the back patio all night for six hours in the cold. I was wearing only a t-shirt.Forcibly kept me in the house by blocking me every time I tried to leave.Hit me in the head with my car keys.Hit me in the head with a beer can.I could go on and on, but I’ll stop here. You can see what a monster he is.

He also committed horrible and unthinkable acts against other women.

Not only did he beat his past girlfriends, but he verbally and emotionally abused them as well. And then he violated some of the women he dated by taking naked pictures of them while they were passed out in his bed and did the UNTHINKABLE!!! He sent these pictures to his friends. If I wouldn’t have found the proof of this on his phone, these women would have never known.

And I’m sure there have been numerous women he's violated in this manner over many years.

He is a CRIMINAL and no one is stopping him. He continues this behavior, because he gets away with it and always has.
 
Apparently, the justice system thinks he’s fit to be living among the rest of us. In other words, they don’t care about the despicable crimes he’s committing against women. But now it’s on their heads. I did my duty by turning him in to the police and pressing charges. There’s nothing more I can do. I hold the prosecutor personally responsible for the acts of violence he will commit in the future. Criminals with a track record like his don’t just stop committing crimes one day. That’s why his record goes back longer than a decade.
 
I wish I could warn every woman who innocently steps in his path, but it’s out of my control. 
Luckily, some have looked up his criminal record online through the Bexar County Court Records website and have found the Protective Order I placed against him, plus the felony charges that were filed, and have contacted me asking questions about what happened.
So, I have been able to save a few of them from his animalistic behavior, and I thank God for this!  

I’m posting a few pictures, mainly because I feel it’s my duty. Every time I come across women who post pictures of what their abusers have done to them, I always feel like it’s the bravest and most courageous thing they’ve done, besides ESCAPING!





*This is Part Two of a blog series I’m working on.  

Part Three “Narcissistic/Psychopathic Abuse” will go into detail about dangerous and toxic people and the devastating effects they have on others.

**If you are being abused, please seek help immediately.
Call The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233)