Choosing to Believe I’m not an Imposter
@bethvogt
This was my friend Jenny’s text to me yesterday morning at 6:12 a.m.: In life, and perhaps you overcame this, who did you believe you had to be accepted and/or approved by?
By the way, good morning.
My reply: Oh my word! Do you want an alphabetical list?
Jenny and I have conversations like this. All the time. Sometimes by the time we’ve exhausted ourselves verbally, we’ve solved, well, not the world’s problems, but whatever problem is bothering us most at that particular moment.
Wanting the approval and acceptance of others? That can be a lifelong struggle.
When I shared Jenny’s early morning text asking approval and acceptance, did you remember someone’s name? See someone’s face?
If so, you know exactly what we’re talking about.
And then I answered Jenny’s question – again – with another question: Have you ever heard of imposter syndrome?
Have you, my friends?
Loosely defined, imposter syndrome is when someone doubts their success and feels like a fraud. This person is fearful her colleagues in the same field of expertise – music or writing or engineering or education – will realize she’s a fake. The other professionals deserve the attention, the awards, the accolades … but she does not.
Consider this interesting point: A sufferer of imposter syndrome is usually a high achieving individual – and yet, she thinks she excelled by chance. Her greatest fear? That everyone else will figure out she doesn’t belong at the professional conference or on stage accepting an award, or sitting in the church pew holding a Bible.
Ironic, isn’t it, that achievements create feelings of fraudulence.
Lurking behind imposter syndrome is the desire for acceptance, the longing for approval, all mixed up with the lie we deserve to be rejected.
But we believe the lie is true.
We turn to others for reassurance. We turn to things – awards, more achievements – to affirm us. We wait … and wait … and wait for that certain someone to give us their stamp of approval.
Here’s where I could tell you about how many years I believed the word “beautiful” didn’t apply to me.
I could tell you how I understand – to the very core of my being – what it’s like to stand in the room with other writers I love and respect and think, “I’m a fraud.”
And how my eyes burned with tears as I typed those words.
But let’s be honest with one another, my friends. Many of you have thought that too.
The only thing we can do … the best thing we can do … is replace the lie we believe with the truth. Stop waiting for someone’s – or everyone’s – approval or acceptance.
Me? I spent an entire year of my life leaning into God’s love. I wrote in my journal: I need to know You love me, God. I need to feel it.
Opening my heart and mind more and more to that Truth has helped me turn away from many lies I used to believe – and it helps me choose to believe I’m not an imposter, too.
'You doubt your value. Don't run from who you are.' Quote by Aslan in the movie The Voyage of the Dawn Treader https://bit.ly/2N1j2Zm #doubt #confidence
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Choosing to Believe I'm not an Imposter https://bit.ly/2N1j2Zm #choices #impostersyndrome
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