Choosing not to Fix Someone Who is Struggling

@bethvogt

It’s so difficult to see someone we love struggle.

When a family member or friend is hurting, so often we want to rush in and fix the situation for them. Figure out some way to make everything better. If we can figure out the magic equation to make everything better … Poof!  The difficult circumstances and devastating emotions overwhelming the person we love are gone.

We search for the right combination of comforting words. The right Scripture verse — the one that helped us when we struggled with similar circumstances. The perfect escape movie or book or activity. A quick trip to Target is always a pick-me-up, right, girlfriends?

But trying to fix their difficult situation? That’s exactly where we can go wrong. “Fixing it” can make others feel like we’re trying to “fix them.”

When we’re harassed emotionally — when we’re discouraged or doubting or depressed — is exactly when we don’t want to be analyzed and fixed.

We want to be loved.

“There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love.”
Mother Teresa (1910-1997), founder of the Order of the Missionaries of Charity

 

So how do we love someone who is struggling? I’ve learned the simplest expression of love can mean the most to others.

 Let’s pray for someone who is hurting — and be willing to pray silently. Prayer is a sacrificial act of love. Pray through those Scripture verses you want to share with your family member or friend. Consider this: When I first dealt with my abuse, there were times I struggled with prayer — both praying for myself, as well as hearing others pray for me. If someone asked, “Can I pray for you?” I learned to say, “Not out loud,” or “Maybe later.”Let’s practice “just because” acts of kindness. Write a note to let them know you’re thinking of them. Drop by with a bouquet of cheery flowers or their favorite coffee. No need to linger because they may not be up to entertaining you. Realize your thoughtfulness may not change how someone feels, but it’s always worthwhile to love through kindness.

How have you loved someone who was struggling instead of trying to fix them? 

Choosing not to Fix Someone Who is Struggling https://bit.ly/3qhrly0 #relationships #love
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'A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.' Quote by Steve Maraboli https://bit.ly/3qhrly0 #kindness #compassion
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