Releasing a debut novel in lockdown… how typically me!
2020/2021; well, what a year that was. I was very blessed to be surrounded by all the usual chaos, and incredibly fortunate that our day-to-day didn’t really get turned upside-down. I feel blessed that life could continue, and we managed not to be derailed. With so many children, you learn to adapt and survive with no notice, that’s us, just carrying on.
Don’t get me wrong. I had many negative days, and plenty of tantrums. There he was, just listening, saying nothing, lovingly stood by the kettle, because a good brew solves everything. I’m not an easy person to live with, highly strung, eccentric in my desires and needs, overly creative, and overly emotional. He is, luckily for me, a very forgiving husband.
Launching a book in lockdown has been really hard, it’s also been hugely positive, as I’ve met new people, and made new connections. I’ve felt like a bad mum, like I haven’t been there for the children, or I’ve been neglecting them, and their immediate environment. It’s all for them, and a better future; I have to take that with me on the rough days. Again, luckily for me, they’re a forgiving type, nothing a cwtch and story can’t solve. It’s been a journey for me, it’s been an adventure for them; and now they’re cheering me on with the second book. How lucky am I, to have such supportive children? Even as I type, I am reminded how fortunate I am, as my adult child bought me this laptop; I had been typing on a knackered old number, I guess he saw the potential. They make me so proud and scared, in equal measure, to be their mum.
I’m very close to my parents and my aunty, they are a massive part of my day-to-day life, and, as much as they drive me scatty, I miss them. I miss the fact that my parents weren’t able to be part of this adventure, as they rolled their eyes, in the usual despair they have for me, and the look of, ‘What are you doing now?’ They found out about the book literally as it launched, because they aren’t on social media, they missed the lead up, and, as much as my aunty could narrate what was going on, there was just such a lack of involvement. The lack of physical contact, to sit and show them, just being with them in the same room, a good brew, and cake. It’s been slightly heartbreaking, I’m an emotional sort, and my family is everything, being an only child kind of made me a particular type of irrational.
I’ve had fantastic reviews and great support; I have been embraced into old school societies, and made great new connections, connections that will, one day, get affirmed, when we get to be ‘normal’ once more. I have nine amazing achievements in my life, they make me a woman, a wife, a mother. It’s been a hard journey to get to today. There’s been plenty of heartache, plenty of times I’ve been unfair, and more occasions than I care to admit, that I’ve disappointed my family. But, to hear my dad say he’s proud of me, for the first time in, what feels like, many, many long years, makes me feel like his daughter once more.
Don’t get me wrong. I had many negative days, and plenty of tantrums. There he was, just listening, saying nothing, lovingly stood by the kettle, because a good brew solves everything. I’m not an easy person to live with, highly strung, eccentric in my desires and needs, overly creative, and overly emotional. He is, luckily for me, a very forgiving husband.
Launching a book in lockdown has been really hard, it’s also been hugely positive, as I’ve met new people, and made new connections. I’ve felt like a bad mum, like I haven’t been there for the children, or I’ve been neglecting them, and their immediate environment. It’s all for them, and a better future; I have to take that with me on the rough days. Again, luckily for me, they’re a forgiving type, nothing a cwtch and story can’t solve. It’s been a journey for me, it’s been an adventure for them; and now they’re cheering me on with the second book. How lucky am I, to have such supportive children? Even as I type, I am reminded how fortunate I am, as my adult child bought me this laptop; I had been typing on a knackered old number, I guess he saw the potential. They make me so proud and scared, in equal measure, to be their mum.
I’m very close to my parents and my aunty, they are a massive part of my day-to-day life, and, as much as they drive me scatty, I miss them. I miss the fact that my parents weren’t able to be part of this adventure, as they rolled their eyes, in the usual despair they have for me, and the look of, ‘What are you doing now?’ They found out about the book literally as it launched, because they aren’t on social media, they missed the lead up, and, as much as my aunty could narrate what was going on, there was just such a lack of involvement. The lack of physical contact, to sit and show them, just being with them in the same room, a good brew, and cake. It’s been slightly heartbreaking, I’m an emotional sort, and my family is everything, being an only child kind of made me a particular type of irrational.
I’ve had fantastic reviews and great support; I have been embraced into old school societies, and made great new connections, connections that will, one day, get affirmed, when we get to be ‘normal’ once more. I have nine amazing achievements in my life, they make me a woman, a wife, a mother. It’s been a hard journey to get to today. There’s been plenty of heartache, plenty of times I’ve been unfair, and more occasions than I care to admit, that I’ve disappointed my family. But, to hear my dad say he’s proud of me, for the first time in, what feels like, many, many long years, makes me feel like his daughter once more.
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