POLAR EXPRESS, BARE OR VORTEX?
OKAY, so it’s no longer the Holiday Season, so we can write off the Polar Express. Old hat. Polar bare? No hat, like in Sweden, Finland and Russia, a mid-winter dip into polar temperature water after “breaking the ice.” Brrr — https://visitsweden.com/what-to-do/na.... Polar Vortex? Now there’s something to sink one’s chattering teeth into, as it’s already here and will probably remain such for the near future.
There’s always been a Polar Vortex, but usually it keeps spinning in a tight circle above the Arctic (I don’t know if there’s one at the Antarctic but for all my reader fans in Australia there certainly should be six months from now). Occasionally, like a spinning top, it can begin to wobble, assumedly due to a solar event, space weather, local atmospheric instabilities or even that dastardly feared entity, climate change. Whichever, when it wobbles, it can dip as far south as the Tropic of Cancer causing subzero (Centigrade and even Fahrenheit) temperatures over vast swatches of continental land. The 2021 Polar Vortex promises to wobble strongly over North America introducing Texas to Arctic weather and making refrigerator freezers temporarily obsolete in northcentral USA and central Canada.
Worried about the thermometer freezing? If that happens, pour out two jiggers of straight whiskey. Toss one outside via a briefly open window. If it freezes before it hits the ground, you can assume it’s at least -20 degrees Fahrenheit (-29 degrees Centigrade) outside, and, if you enjoy alcohol, down the second and wrap yourself in a faux Neanderthalean bearskin rug for the rest of the day. Alternatively, if you prefer dogs, you can do like some Alaskan’s do and prepare for a three dog night: one dog in bed in front, one in back and one curled about the toes. So, if you’re in the eye of Polar Vortex 2021 or just feeling emotionally frozen over the results of the second Trump impeachment trial, turn up the heat, stoke the fire in the fireplace, surround yourself with blankets and read THE EDGE OF MADNESS (Aignos 2020) by Raymond Gaynor. What better way to fight a Polar Whatever than to warm body and mind at the same time?
The Edge of Madness
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0999693859
There’s always been a Polar Vortex, but usually it keeps spinning in a tight circle above the Arctic (I don’t know if there’s one at the Antarctic but for all my reader fans in Australia there certainly should be six months from now). Occasionally, like a spinning top, it can begin to wobble, assumedly due to a solar event, space weather, local atmospheric instabilities or even that dastardly feared entity, climate change. Whichever, when it wobbles, it can dip as far south as the Tropic of Cancer causing subzero (Centigrade and even Fahrenheit) temperatures over vast swatches of continental land. The 2021 Polar Vortex promises to wobble strongly over North America introducing Texas to Arctic weather and making refrigerator freezers temporarily obsolete in northcentral USA and central Canada.
Worried about the thermometer freezing? If that happens, pour out two jiggers of straight whiskey. Toss one outside via a briefly open window. If it freezes before it hits the ground, you can assume it’s at least -20 degrees Fahrenheit (-29 degrees Centigrade) outside, and, if you enjoy alcohol, down the second and wrap yourself in a faux Neanderthalean bearskin rug for the rest of the day. Alternatively, if you prefer dogs, you can do like some Alaskan’s do and prepare for a three dog night: one dog in bed in front, one in back and one curled about the toes. So, if you’re in the eye of Polar Vortex 2021 or just feeling emotionally frozen over the results of the second Trump impeachment trial, turn up the heat, stoke the fire in the fireplace, surround yourself with blankets and read THE EDGE OF MADNESS (Aignos 2020) by Raymond Gaynor. What better way to fight a Polar Whatever than to warm body and mind at the same time?
The Edge of Madness
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0999693859
No comments have been added yet.
