The Enigma of Choice

Recently someone asked me what I miss most in this time of pandemic. Different losses flooded into my brain: meetings with friends and family; restaurant meals; museums; taking grocery shopping for granted; traveling for vacation.... 

Very quickly, though, my brain landed on the loss that defines all others: Choice.

Despite my loss of choice, my own circumstances are as good as they can be, and I am so very grateful for that. By staying in my cage, which is gilded compared to many others, I am able to keep this virus at bay. 

So, for me, the loss of choice is a question of limitation. For others, it’s potentially much darker. For others, the choice of keeping themselves safe and sheltered has disappeared:

people whose income relies on standing behind a plexiglass shield and handling thousands of items each day, items that have been touched by countless people who might or might pass the virus along to them

parents of children, whether those children travel to and from school each day or are in virtual classrooms, children who do not understand the danger and know only that they don’t have the choices of playing with their friends, going to movie theaters, or competing in their favorite sports

people who have lost their sources of income and are in danger of losing (or have already lost) the very shelter that might keep them safe

medical professionals who expose themselves moment by moment to the dangers of this virus and who must explain to family members that their loved one must die alone—the ultimate loss of choice

In the story of the Garden of Eden, humans are given a choice: whether to reach for knowledge and understanding or remain ignorant and two-dimensional in a world that offers no risk and no reward. In some ways, I wish we could return to that Paradise where there was no pain, no danger, no loss.

But there was also no pleasure, no exhilaration, no accomplishment. Theirs was a featureless world, for they could not understand Paradise if they had never known anything else. If those first humans had not chosen to know evil, they could not have known good. 

And consider this: That tree with the fruit Snake offered was there, whether they chose to taste it or ignore it. 

We have a choice to make. We can choose ignorance. We can turn our backs on the reality of evil. We can insist that this virus does not exist, that there is no snake in the tree, that the fruit is not poisonous. We can refuse to believe that we would sicken and die. Or we can choose understanding.

The new U.S. president, Joe Biden, says he will mandate the wearing of masks in every way he can. He will take choice away. But we are not in Paradise. We do not live in a world where the choice is black or white. Our world is more complex. And the removal of choice comes with understanding: In allowing our choices to be limited, we allow good to enter. We help ensure that the people we are not socializing with now will be there when it is once again safe to do so. We can’t eliminate the evil, but can choose to limit it.

Let us choose limiting our choice now. For it will limit death even more for everyone.