A Note To My Younger Self

The coffee is better, this far down the timeline. It is also readily available and you can even have bags of quality coffee beans delivered. We finally had a transparently crazy President. It was both thrilling and disgusting. Speaking of which, with pills you can also have delivered, you can now have an erection for FOUR hours. This is the new world. Organic produce is more common, as is artisan bread, even outside of Portland. Speaking of Portland, this is where you wound up. No one here has the strange rashes you saw everywhere in California and Texas, so that’s good. A private citizen is finally rich enough to move to Mars! That’s big news! And a mannequin was struck by lightning and came alive, horrible to look upon, but he started a thing called Facebook. There is a global health crisis up here in the future, it came from a bat or a pig maybe, that isn’t really important, but Science, that wonderful gal you dated in high school, showed herself to be more clever than anyone imagined. Maybe you should have married her instead of Art, reconsider if there’s still time. If not, don’t worry. It turns out pretty good either way. Important lessons- shortcuts lead to small places filled with smaller people. Take note! Surround yourself with people who work hard on difficult things! It’s better than the alternative. There’s more! But this short missive has to travel through time, so I’ll keep it brief.