A Simple Disclaimer
If you’ve considered buying liability insurance for a business lately, you’ve probably realized that sleep is one of those many-splendored joys whose pleasures only become fully explicable to our thought process after we have gazed upon something so breathtakingly misfortunate that we will never, ever slumber again.
To counter this, it is important that one create simple waivers of liability. Ours is quite old-fashioned—I mean, real waivers, these days, are usually contained in a ‘click-wrap agreement’, which means that you need merely click a button to agree to a given set of terms of service. Or, in other words, legally, you can be bound by pages and pages of material with less energy and thought than would normally be required to pick out a particular fast-food eatery from an online map.
(It is, if you like legal trivia, descended from the ‘shrink wrap agreement’, which said that the opening of certain kinds of packaging, such as that containing software, was, in and of itself, a legally-binding act on part with having read, reviewed, agreed-to, and signed, a physical document. Isn’t evolution of law in a technological age just fascinating?
At any rate, our Villainpunk works contain significant amounts of thoughtcrime, and so we’d like to announce, in a formal way, that anyone who visits our website, or thinks about our website, or even conceives the possibility that we might have a website, or, in fact, anyone who knows what a ‘website’ is, up to and including those persons who believe that the only website in existence is “Myspace”, are hereby understood to be bound by the following disclamation:
Management will not be held responsible for:
Confusion and bedazzlement, disturbances in the Force, love potions, hate potions,Ragnarok, the end of the world, spontaneous pointy-ear syndrome, Puck, vanishing Faerie gold, increasing Faerie alcohol tolerance, unmanaged mischief, TARDIS malfunctions, Puck, the Return of the King, the Jedi, or the weird box you bought at that strange shop which inexplicably vanished when you turned your back on it, what happens when you give coffee to mythological beings, what happens when you believe in mythological beings, what happens when mythological beings believe in you, Puck, gluten tolerance, golden apples marked ‘Kallisti’, acts of Gods, acts of Goths, Thursdays, losing the One Ring, finding the One Ring, inexplicably comparing George R. R. Martin to Tolkien, Puck, lack of gluten intolerance, butterscotch, chaos, calamity, throne-meltings, the highly illogical, crossroads deals, Magick ascendant, the illusion of Reality, buttergin, rebellion against the Capital, Puck, or tulips.
The preceding essay was brought to you by Dark Lords For Azathoth, and may not necessarily reflect the views of the being who wrote, edited, posted, and marketed this document.
My name is Jeff Mach (“Dark Lord” is optional) and I build communities and create things. Every year, I put on Evil Expo, the Greatest Place in the World to be a Villain. I also write a lot of fantasy and science fiction. You can get most of my books right here. Go ahead, order “I HATE Your Prophecy“ It may make you into a bad person, but I can live with that.
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