The Woman - The First Call
November, 2015. This story spans through a phase of three long years, which started somewhere in the late summer of 2012 as an euphoric sensation of “love at first sight” and somehow culminates in the Autumn of 2015 over our first phone call. Lets roll back to the first part of the story where I saw her for the first time. As she walked away from the scene with sheer hatred in her heart against everyone, I headed for my lectures with a sense of grief and a short-lived sense of infatuation in my heart for her. Back then, I brushed it off as an irregular cardiac rhythm owing to those four years of excessive caffeine and nicotine consumption. To my surprise, the ephemeral sensation stayed longer than usual compared to my old school crushes just like the summer solstice that year.
Attending the afternoon lectures became an integral part of my itinerary with a desire of bumping into her somewhere someday. Even a lean silhouette of her against the dimming sky would breathe hope in my heart, but the Almighty had some other plans. Pretty soon, the optimism turned into a state of despair, the infatuation turned into some sort of obsession, the inquisitiveness turned into shameless stalking; and I murdered my conscience to dig up some of her details from those fellow classmates only who harassed her in the first place. For all those college romances which remains confined in the tightly woven cocoons of rejections forever, Mark Zuckerberg came to their rescue with a phenomenon known as Facebook. It was meant to connect with our loved ones but it largely turned into a medium for us to release our psychological inhibitions. I succumbed to my impulses and sent her a friend request. “…………. accepted your friend request” read my notification tab the very next day. I felt a certain rush of dopamine, “butterflies in my stomach” was not just another idiom in the English Dictionary for me anymore.
With each passing day, as the conversation thread was getting longer, I felt like moving an inch closer to her heart. Although my presence on her Facebook profile was not even making an iota of difference in her life, still the pop-up of our chat-box created a saccharine world of its own for me. She was an ambivert, lying somewhere between the two extreme poles of human behaviour. A sense of abhorrence for selfies and display pics, profound love for Animes and Age of Empires, confidence with a hint of arrogance, a closed book with many intertwined layers underneath and an unresolved mystery. Over a period of one year or so, even though the tab “acquaintances with her” was checkboxed in the reel life, but I was miles away from being one in the real life. While I was busy in tieing the loose ends of our story, never did I realise that the thread itself was loosening up. The college was coming to an end. Like any other 21 year old millennial, those four years would be etched in my heart forever. When I looked back at the things which I missed out while hopping on to the next phase of my life, the hesitation to ask her out even once in those three years kept haunting me in dark distressing nights.
The exchage of pleasantries with crests and troughs of blatant flirtations went on between us for a prolonged period of two years. Seasons passed by, and she was in her final year toiling hard for her placements. Her hard work paid off when she got placed at “Tata Steel”, which was an alluring dreamworld for me once upon a time. I really used to connect with its tagline “where values are stronger than steel”, since it pushed me to run the extra mile no matter what lies ahead. But, her life was nothing less than a prolonged episode of Dungeons and Dragons where the twists and turns were a never ending saga. Since her dad was an ex-employee of the same organisation she was placed at, few of her batchmates were emphatic about an angle of nepotism. Brushing aside all those accusations, she chose to muffle those voices with her actions rather than appeasing them with words. She read Tagore a lot, and thus she imbibed “Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high” in her life too.
While dealing with such pessimistic characters around her, she was oblivious to her silent well wisher miles away from her. When life was giving her lemons, I thought of offering her a lemonade. Going against my primary instincts, I took the leap of faith and called her up for the first time ever. As the call got connected; the fingers were twitching, the eyelids were fluttering, the anxiety was settling, and my voice was trembling.
Me: “Hey, how have you been?” (I missed you a lot, the heart murmured)
She: Umm, hi… That’s quite a surprise. You have never called before or you? (an ethereal voice answered from the other end)
Me: Umm no, I just thought of checking up on you.. (I wish I could be your companion in these tough times, hold your hands and stride along together to the unknown)
She: Ya, few odd things are going on in my life. The placement, then the rumours and all. I told you, right… Just making me a bit stronger hopefully. Otherwise, times are good lately. The semesters got over… (a sigh of relief)
Me: Oops sorry, I know it is a bit too late but congratulations on getting placed amigo. You would be living my dream (I know there had been many congratulatory calls but I sincerely hope its a special one for you) …….
……. And, regarding all those rumours; just believe in yourself, stand straight, put up a smile and rise like a phoenix from the ashes of your dead insecurities. Remember, the fog might seem to be dense enough but that only justifies the solace in the Spring ahead.
She: Hey, thanks a lot. It made me feel really good. The words had a healing effect… (Little did she know, her well being had been an inseparable part of my morning prayers)
Me: blush blush (a lifetime passed in that heartbeat)… Well, you still seem to hate getting clicked, right? The same profile picture over the last few years on Facebook… (the backdrop of Ganges, her geeky glasses, her Allen Solly purplish blue tee, leaning against a wall with a wildstyle graffiti on it and her expressions while faking a candid; the photo receptors did not miss a single detail….)
She: Yeah, it seems like that. I can’t get along with the camera ever. Call me absurd but this won’t change… (an array of her perfect imperfections)
Me: Hey, a quick update. You know, I have been watching Naruto lately. I quite like the first few episodes… (venturing out into that alien world was a pathetic and painful experience…)
She: Oh, nice. You seem to be catching up… Btw, I have been following your movie reviews. Good job, man… Listen, I am getting late for my lectures and the professor hates me for coming late. I need to go now. I will call you up…. (What would have happened if the professor scolded her one more time for coming late? I didn’t want this to end too soon…)
Me: Yeah, no issues. Even, I have a job to attend too… Will catch up soon… (the heart failed to overrun the mind yet again, and ended up making an excuse)
She disconnected the call, and it displayed “Last call duration- 9 mins and 42 secs” on the screen. The call might be a short one, but it was long enough to have a feeling as if her voice was reverberating around. A voice inside me popped up “the ship has not sailed yet, the water is not turbulent yet and the story is not over yet………”
Attending the afternoon lectures became an integral part of my itinerary with a desire of bumping into her somewhere someday. Even a lean silhouette of her against the dimming sky would breathe hope in my heart, but the Almighty had some other plans. Pretty soon, the optimism turned into a state of despair, the infatuation turned into some sort of obsession, the inquisitiveness turned into shameless stalking; and I murdered my conscience to dig up some of her details from those fellow classmates only who harassed her in the first place. For all those college romances which remains confined in the tightly woven cocoons of rejections forever, Mark Zuckerberg came to their rescue with a phenomenon known as Facebook. It was meant to connect with our loved ones but it largely turned into a medium for us to release our psychological inhibitions. I succumbed to my impulses and sent her a friend request. “…………. accepted your friend request” read my notification tab the very next day. I felt a certain rush of dopamine, “butterflies in my stomach” was not just another idiom in the English Dictionary for me anymore.
With each passing day, as the conversation thread was getting longer, I felt like moving an inch closer to her heart. Although my presence on her Facebook profile was not even making an iota of difference in her life, still the pop-up of our chat-box created a saccharine world of its own for me. She was an ambivert, lying somewhere between the two extreme poles of human behaviour. A sense of abhorrence for selfies and display pics, profound love for Animes and Age of Empires, confidence with a hint of arrogance, a closed book with many intertwined layers underneath and an unresolved mystery. Over a period of one year or so, even though the tab “acquaintances with her” was checkboxed in the reel life, but I was miles away from being one in the real life. While I was busy in tieing the loose ends of our story, never did I realise that the thread itself was loosening up. The college was coming to an end. Like any other 21 year old millennial, those four years would be etched in my heart forever. When I looked back at the things which I missed out while hopping on to the next phase of my life, the hesitation to ask her out even once in those three years kept haunting me in dark distressing nights.
The exchage of pleasantries with crests and troughs of blatant flirtations went on between us for a prolonged period of two years. Seasons passed by, and she was in her final year toiling hard for her placements. Her hard work paid off when she got placed at “Tata Steel”, which was an alluring dreamworld for me once upon a time. I really used to connect with its tagline “where values are stronger than steel”, since it pushed me to run the extra mile no matter what lies ahead. But, her life was nothing less than a prolonged episode of Dungeons and Dragons where the twists and turns were a never ending saga. Since her dad was an ex-employee of the same organisation she was placed at, few of her batchmates were emphatic about an angle of nepotism. Brushing aside all those accusations, she chose to muffle those voices with her actions rather than appeasing them with words. She read Tagore a lot, and thus she imbibed “Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high” in her life too.
While dealing with such pessimistic characters around her, she was oblivious to her silent well wisher miles away from her. When life was giving her lemons, I thought of offering her a lemonade. Going against my primary instincts, I took the leap of faith and called her up for the first time ever. As the call got connected; the fingers were twitching, the eyelids were fluttering, the anxiety was settling, and my voice was trembling.
Me: “Hey, how have you been?” (I missed you a lot, the heart murmured)
She: Umm, hi… That’s quite a surprise. You have never called before or you? (an ethereal voice answered from the other end)
Me: Umm no, I just thought of checking up on you.. (I wish I could be your companion in these tough times, hold your hands and stride along together to the unknown)
She: Ya, few odd things are going on in my life. The placement, then the rumours and all. I told you, right… Just making me a bit stronger hopefully. Otherwise, times are good lately. The semesters got over… (a sigh of relief)
Me: Oops sorry, I know it is a bit too late but congratulations on getting placed amigo. You would be living my dream (I know there had been many congratulatory calls but I sincerely hope its a special one for you) …….
……. And, regarding all those rumours; just believe in yourself, stand straight, put up a smile and rise like a phoenix from the ashes of your dead insecurities. Remember, the fog might seem to be dense enough but that only justifies the solace in the Spring ahead.
She: Hey, thanks a lot. It made me feel really good. The words had a healing effect… (Little did she know, her well being had been an inseparable part of my morning prayers)
Me: blush blush (a lifetime passed in that heartbeat)… Well, you still seem to hate getting clicked, right? The same profile picture over the last few years on Facebook… (the backdrop of Ganges, her geeky glasses, her Allen Solly purplish blue tee, leaning against a wall with a wildstyle graffiti on it and her expressions while faking a candid; the photo receptors did not miss a single detail….)
She: Yeah, it seems like that. I can’t get along with the camera ever. Call me absurd but this won’t change… (an array of her perfect imperfections)
Me: Hey, a quick update. You know, I have been watching Naruto lately. I quite like the first few episodes… (venturing out into that alien world was a pathetic and painful experience…)
She: Oh, nice. You seem to be catching up… Btw, I have been following your movie reviews. Good job, man… Listen, I am getting late for my lectures and the professor hates me for coming late. I need to go now. I will call you up…. (What would have happened if the professor scolded her one more time for coming late? I didn’t want this to end too soon…)
Me: Yeah, no issues. Even, I have a job to attend too… Will catch up soon… (the heart failed to overrun the mind yet again, and ended up making an excuse)
She disconnected the call, and it displayed “Last call duration- 9 mins and 42 secs” on the screen. The call might be a short one, but it was long enough to have a feeling as if her voice was reverberating around. A voice inside me popped up “the ship has not sailed yet, the water is not turbulent yet and the story is not over yet………”
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