I Could Be a Great Leader if It Weren't for the People

Every leader knows frustration. Every leader has been discouraged. All leaders have moments where they wish they could change the circumstances in which they find themselves. And many of those desired changes involve people.

One leader recently commented to me: "If I could just get eight people to leave or have a dramatic change in their attitude, my life would be so much better. I could really lead then."

Sorry. Problem people and people with problems will always be with us. Great leaders learn to deal with people issues.

The Common Concerns

People problems tend to fall in one of four groups. The first group includes the critics. Many leaders lament how much time and emotional energy they expend responding to and dealing with critics. They see how much more time and energy they could have if the critics would just go away. And, as a side note, the voices of the critics have become amplified in our age of social media and emails.

Those who work alongside of us, our peers, can sometimes become problem people. We don't understand why they don't see things our way, and why their attitudes can be so problematic. We never expected that lateral leadership would take up so much of our time.

We cannot overlook bosses and other superiors in the organizational chart as a category of problem people. Some bosses are jerks. Other key leaders just don't get it. Still others make decisions that just don't seem to make sense. We know we would do things differently if we were in their shoes,

The final group includes those who work for us. So many leaders feel like they need to change their title to chief babysitting officer because of all the issues they deal with in their organization. Sometimes they feel like a referee. At other times they perceive that they have become full-time therapists. And still at other times they see themselves as chief enforcement officers who deal with those who aren't performing well and those who make significant blunders.

The Common Responses

Our defense mechanisms tend to kick in when we deal with problem people. One mode of defense is to attack. We become angry and frustrated. We just can't take it anymore, so our inward frustration becomes a verbal or written rage.

Some leaders may engage in the blame game as a defense mechanism. When our organization is not doing well or when the challenges are the greatest, we know it's because of "those people." They become a convenient scapegoat for all that goes badly.

Other leaders choose to withdraw. Some stop leading. Some lead defensively. Some ride out the months or years to retirement, being extra careful not to "rock the boat." Still others decide that the pain is too much, and they choose to leave the organization.

Most leaders remember moments where each of these responses was either a reality or a temptation in their lives. All leaders understand the challenge of leading people. How then do leaders respond?

The Correct Perspectives

My friend and work colleague, Brad Waggoner, recently told me that he is tempted to write a book called It Ain't Heaven Yet. His humorous thesis is that we will never be in a place this side of heaven where there aren't problem people. We might move from one organization to another, but we will deal with imperfect people wherever we go. Allow me then to suggest three broad paths to navigate this issue.

First, accept the reality that the problems will never go away. Brad Waggoner is right: It ain't heaven yet. There are no perfect people, and there is no perfect organization.

Second, look in the mirror. All of us leaders aren't perfect either. Let me state it personally. I am a jerk boss at times. Sometimes I don't get it. Sometimes I make bad decisions. When I get frustrated with others, I need to look in the mirror. I'm not so great myself.

Finally, remember that great leaders learn to lead in imperfect situations with imperfect people. That's a vital part of leadership. The greatest test of our leadership strength will not come when everything is going well. It will take place when we are responding to difficult people in difficult situations.

And we will certainly have many opportunities to lead in those times.