A Chance Encounter in a Rose Garden Helped Me Learn the Value of Service

I first noticed the couple as I was lounging among the rose bushes.

He was resplendent in a peach sherbet jacket, while she wore a gown of cream colored lace. Their children were dressed in brilliant hot pink – a tiny vest with dress pants and bow tie for him, a stiff crinoline dress for her. It appeared to be the parents’ wedding day, and yet … they were alone.

I was taking a break from weeding the local rose garden, and I was feeling seriously virtuous. But let’s not kid ourselves — I’m normally not one to help out. Usually I blow by every last panhandler, and I seldom write a check for a good cause. I tell myself I’m just too busy.

Yet it was not always thus.

For three years after the sudden death of my daughter Teal in 2012, I stopped all the time to help. I doled out dollar bills, listened to hard luck stories, and donated to causes. I even made lunch at a soup kitchen for several memorable months.

In my softened, grief-stricken state, I became open and willing. I told myself this was what Teal would have done, because she had a big, yielding heart that could resist no person’s pain.

I decided I would be like Teal — more generous, more aware of others, and just plain more sensitive. But then life intruded, my grief slowly healed, and I went back to being … well … me. Eyes locked on the phone. Thoughts racing ahead. Indelibly focused on Getting Things Done.

Enter the well-dressed Black couple in the rose garden. I watched as they struggled to take selfies of themselves and their balking children. Suddenly I was walking towards them, determined to assist. The mother and father eyed me as I approached with a mix of wariness and desperation.

“I’ll take some pictures of you if you want,” I offered.

The bride’s eyes lit up. “Fantastic!” she said, handing me the phone. They posed stiffly in front of a fountain as the children continued to fidget, and I took a few mediocre shots. Uncharacteristically, I found I wanted to do more. In fact, I needed to do more.

“Where else can we take them?” I found myself saying. “I’ll shoot anything you want.”

“Is there a better spot?” the bride asked eagerly.

I looked around, suddenly inspired. Another wedding couple had been posing moments earlier for their photographer under a nearby bower of roses in full bloom.

So we began to advance on the bower ourselves.  As we walked and chatted, I noticed that the couple had African accents. I asked where they were from.

“Ghana,” explained the bride. “We just came back from getting married there.”

Now it all began to make sense. The year Teal graduated from high school, she lived in Ghana for several months as a volunteer.

In the next breath, the bride asked me if I had children, and for a moment I found myself unable to speak. Finally, I composed myself and told her about Teal, and she smiled at me with genuine understanding

Now as they posed, inspiration descended. I directed them to tuck in close to the roses. I had no idea what I was doing … but it felt right, so I was doing it. The effect was gorgeous.

Then I asked them to kiss for the camera. “Oh, I’m too shy!” laughed the bride. But they did anyway, as the pearly white blossoms trailed around them.

The children stood watching, transfixed. I showed the bride the images and a huge smile spread across her face. “Are you a photographer?” she asked.

No, I wasn’t a photographer. I was just someone who’d stumbled across a chance to go one small step out of my way, and so discover the grand net that holds us all.

I spent the next several moments shooting pictures of this intimate moment, with this rose bower and these two people in love. As I did, I discovered what Teal always knew.

There is joy to be found when you care enough to help someone else.

“You made my day,” the bride told me as our impromptu photo shoot ended.

And they, in turn, made mine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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