The Ninth Configuration
Amazon has a lot of strange and obscure movies which are free if you have Amazon Prime.
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scioscribe
and I have been whiling away the pandemic by watching them. This is also where Phase IV came from.
The Ninth Configuration was written and directed by William Peter Blatty as a sequel The Exorcist, based on his book titled Twinkle, Twinkle, "Killer" Kane! [exclamation point included]. Apparently the astronaut in it was meant to be the one who Regan told that he'd die up there. This is never mentioned in the film itself, but... now you know.
The movie consists of about sixteen different movie genres stuck together, six or seven within the first ten minutes, including a Serious Work of Deep Theological Meaning (it's not actually deep) and a touching gay love story which I had no idea was in there and which I liked a lot.
The opening credit sequence features a John Denver-esque song and images which promise a movie about how wonderful small-town America is, perhaps an ode to an inspiring football coach who imparted homespun wisdom before his edifying death.
Cut to a gigantic moon rising from the point of view of a moon rocket. Perhaps the wholesome football coach inspired the quarterback to become an astronaut? But the launch is going very wrong. The astronaut is having a freakout, and the launch is aborted as he is dragged away screaming hysterically.
Cut to a spooky castle in a storm, shot in the traditional manner of vampire-infested castles in Transylvania.
A scholarly, documentary-style voice-over explains that many soldiers developed symptoms of psychosis in the Vietnam war, which meant they required treatment. And so a facility was procured for them in the Pacific Northwest, where they could be housed and treated with the most up-to-date psychiatric techniques.
Cut back to the spooky castle, which is apparently in... the Pacific Northwest. (Its existence and why it's housing an asylum for traumatized Vietnam vets is explained much later, but in a manner which raises more questions than it answers. The explanation is that it was built by an eccentric rich person... so it was taken over and used as an asylum because it was 1) available, 2) empty, 3) free.)
We see really a lot of the spooky castle interior. It is extremely gothic, and full of creepy gargoyles and life-size stone statues of the Virgin Mary, eerie hooded figures, Weeping Angels, and people with animal heads. It also contains medical equipment, a stuffed boar's head, multiple dogs (nothing bad happens to the dogs), and a poster of a banana with the caption HOW TO READ A BANANA. Because this is the perfect environment in which to rehabilitate a bunch of traumatized, psychotic Vietnam vets.
Cut to the spooky castle courtyard, which is filled with a bunch of lunatics suffering from Movie Madness.
Here are the diagnostic criteria for Movie Madness:
A. Speech consists entirely of surreal wisecracks, such as "Why don't you go vaccinate a fucking armadillo?"
B. Actions are extremely random, such as hurling oneself on to a dinner table, dabbing paint on your psychiatrist's cheeks, attempting to walk through walls, etc.
C. Funny hats are worn at all times. If necessary, funny costumes and props may be added or substituted.
The next hour or so of the movie consists of Marine psychiatrist Stacy Keach interacting with the Movie Madness lunatics. Every now and then, we are rewarded with some footage of an extremely adorable Komondor named Sir Laurence. This is because one of the lunatics is putting on Shakespeare with dogs. I would have enjoyed watching dog Shakespeare more than I enjoyed this section of the movie. I would have also enjoyed watching Sir Laurence trot around like an animated mop on wheels.
In this section, a patient flies by on a working jet pack, there's a thankfully brief blackface interlude, Stacy Keach is dressed as a Nazi because the lunatics want to re-enact The Great Escape, and a lot more dogs appear. Also a herd of sheep. A motorcycle is driven through the castle. I think I'm forgetting a lot.
There's a dream sequence of Jesus being crucified on the moon while an American flag flies in the foreground. Put that together with dialogue like "I think this boar was a diabetic," "If God exists, he's a fink, or more likely, a foot," and a cut-rate F. Lee Ermey predecessor screaming "GOOD MORNING, YOU FUCKING VENUSIANS," and that sums up the first half of the movie.
The second half is just as batshit but develops an actual relationship and plot, along with possibly the single worst psychiatric ethics I've ever seen on film and interludes taking place in Apocalypse Now and a B-movie about evil, eyeliner-wearing bikers. The relationship is surprisingly compelling and sweet.
scioscribe
describes it here. I have hopes that it will turn up for Yuletide.
In conclusion, "Can you prove there is a Foot?"
The Ninth Configuration[image error]
[image error] [image error]
comments
scioscribe
and I have been whiling away the pandemic by watching them. This is also where Phase IV came from.The Ninth Configuration was written and directed by William Peter Blatty as a sequel The Exorcist, based on his book titled Twinkle, Twinkle, "Killer" Kane! [exclamation point included]. Apparently the astronaut in it was meant to be the one who Regan told that he'd die up there. This is never mentioned in the film itself, but... now you know.
The movie consists of about sixteen different movie genres stuck together, six or seven within the first ten minutes, including a Serious Work of Deep Theological Meaning (it's not actually deep) and a touching gay love story which I had no idea was in there and which I liked a lot.
The opening credit sequence features a John Denver-esque song and images which promise a movie about how wonderful small-town America is, perhaps an ode to an inspiring football coach who imparted homespun wisdom before his edifying death.
Cut to a gigantic moon rising from the point of view of a moon rocket. Perhaps the wholesome football coach inspired the quarterback to become an astronaut? But the launch is going very wrong. The astronaut is having a freakout, and the launch is aborted as he is dragged away screaming hysterically.
Cut to a spooky castle in a storm, shot in the traditional manner of vampire-infested castles in Transylvania.
A scholarly, documentary-style voice-over explains that many soldiers developed symptoms of psychosis in the Vietnam war, which meant they required treatment. And so a facility was procured for them in the Pacific Northwest, where they could be housed and treated with the most up-to-date psychiatric techniques.
Cut back to the spooky castle, which is apparently in... the Pacific Northwest. (Its existence and why it's housing an asylum for traumatized Vietnam vets is explained much later, but in a manner which raises more questions than it answers. The explanation is that it was built by an eccentric rich person... so it was taken over and used as an asylum because it was 1) available, 2) empty, 3) free.)
We see really a lot of the spooky castle interior. It is extremely gothic, and full of creepy gargoyles and life-size stone statues of the Virgin Mary, eerie hooded figures, Weeping Angels, and people with animal heads. It also contains medical equipment, a stuffed boar's head, multiple dogs (nothing bad happens to the dogs), and a poster of a banana with the caption HOW TO READ A BANANA. Because this is the perfect environment in which to rehabilitate a bunch of traumatized, psychotic Vietnam vets.
Cut to the spooky castle courtyard, which is filled with a bunch of lunatics suffering from Movie Madness.
Here are the diagnostic criteria for Movie Madness:
A. Speech consists entirely of surreal wisecracks, such as "Why don't you go vaccinate a fucking armadillo?"
B. Actions are extremely random, such as hurling oneself on to a dinner table, dabbing paint on your psychiatrist's cheeks, attempting to walk through walls, etc.
C. Funny hats are worn at all times. If necessary, funny costumes and props may be added or substituted.
The next hour or so of the movie consists of Marine psychiatrist Stacy Keach interacting with the Movie Madness lunatics. Every now and then, we are rewarded with some footage of an extremely adorable Komondor named Sir Laurence. This is because one of the lunatics is putting on Shakespeare with dogs. I would have enjoyed watching dog Shakespeare more than I enjoyed this section of the movie. I would have also enjoyed watching Sir Laurence trot around like an animated mop on wheels.
In this section, a patient flies by on a working jet pack, there's a thankfully brief blackface interlude, Stacy Keach is dressed as a Nazi because the lunatics want to re-enact The Great Escape, and a lot more dogs appear. Also a herd of sheep. A motorcycle is driven through the castle. I think I'm forgetting a lot.
There's a dream sequence of Jesus being crucified on the moon while an American flag flies in the foreground. Put that together with dialogue like "I think this boar was a diabetic," "If God exists, he's a fink, or more likely, a foot," and a cut-rate F. Lee Ermey predecessor screaming "GOOD MORNING, YOU FUCKING VENUSIANS," and that sums up the first half of the movie.
The second half is just as batshit but develops an actual relationship and plot, along with possibly the single worst psychiatric ethics I've ever seen on film and interludes taking place in Apocalypse Now and a B-movie about evil, eyeliner-wearing bikers. The relationship is surprisingly compelling and sweet.
scioscribe
describes it here. I have hopes that it will turn up for Yuletide. In conclusion, "Can you prove there is a Foot?"
The Ninth Configuration[image error]
[image error] [image error]
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