Wading Through the Grief Caused by Suicide and Choosing Hope

@bethvogt

 

There are times grief throws us to our knees. We gasp for breath even as we try to grasp hold of what we’ve heard.

It can’t be true. It can’t be . . .

A longtime friend, someone I love and respect – someone who has shown me kindness again and again – committed suicide a few days ago.

My mind and heart recoil from the stark reality of what has happened.

I want time to rewind so my friend’s death is undone.

I want this tragedy undone.

I know it can’t ever be undone. I’m asking why my friend would commit suicide , even though I know the why won’t change anything.

I’m asking what I could have done to stop this – and I’m sure my questions echo the same ones being asked by my friend’s family and so many others.

I want to say something that will stop someone else from thinking suicide is the right choice, the only choice, for them.

Have I ever had suicidal thoughts?  As a survivor of abuse, yes, yes, I have. Have I ever come close to acting on them? No. Never.

I talked with my trusted friend Wise Guy about this once. I said I would never do “something like that” because I would never do that to my husband or to my kids.

Wise Guy said, “How about you? How about saying, ‘I would never do that to myself?’”

I had never put myself in the equation.

Our conversation was years ago. I’ve done the work. I’ve healed. I’ve learned I am worth taking care of. I am valuable. And I know now that yes, I would never do that to myself. Or to my husband. Or to my kids. I would never cause my family or friends to bear the weight of that much grief.

I would never believe that the lie there is no hope.

I’ve got something to tell you: You – yes, you – are valuable. You are worth taking care of.

You need to make the hard, right choices to stay alive even when it seems impossible – and yes, I get that some days it is an emotional, physical, spiritual battle to stay alive.

Don’t believe the lie that there is no hope. Hopelessness is born in the pit of hell and it smells like smoke. It blinds you to the truth that there is help. There is light. There is more than what you are feeling right now.

Walk away from the lie.

Look up. Stand up.

Call someone who will hold out hope for you if you can’t find it for yourself right now.

 

We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

 

Wading Through the Grief Caused by Suicide and Choosing Hope https://bit.ly/39ST3dH #crisis #hope
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'It's all about hope, kindness and a connection with one another.' Quote by Elizabeth Taylor https://bit.ly/39ST3dH #hope #encouragement
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