What is the size of the frame?
It was 8:06 on a Monday morning. My daughter and I were watching my son tee off on hole six at a golf tournament. It was just another day in our life as a “golf family.” Over the years I’ve spent many (many, many) hours watching golf. I sort of know-how golf tournaments go. So when a rules official arrived in a cart yelling, “Stop play! There is danger on the course. Leave now! Go back to the clubhouse and get in your cars and leave. NOW!” It wasn’t how things normally go. I remember glancing up at the clear, cloudless sky thinking, “but there is no lightning,” the only reason I could think of why we would be asked to leave the course in such an abrupt manner. (The only reason, up to that moment we had EVER been asked to leave a course.) We quickly loaded the players and clubs onto the cart I was driving, the other parents started running and we made our way quickly back to the clubhouse with other golfers and families from every hole. The question we were all asking (the most obvious question) was, “What is happening?” We quickly started hearing rumors of “An active gunman” and “there is a shooter on the course.” Truly the words you least want to hear when you are in an open space with your kids. There was a calm urgency as we quickly loaded into the car and started driving. In that moment we had only a very small frame through which to view the world and filter the information. Words like “shooter” and “on the golf course” were the words we heard. The words that caused our hearts to pound, our stomachs to knot and fear to set in. After we were safely away and started to understand, over the next few hours, we could see (with a bigger frame) how we were completely safe the entire time. My kids and I have talked a lot, especially in the hours and few days after that event about the power of a frame. When our information was limited, the tone was urgent, it was a very scary situation. As time passed and we learned more details, things like what had happened, where it had happened, the direction the shooter had run (exactly opposite of where we were) the story became more clear. The question (because it always comes back to a question) is: What is the size of your frame? Are you working with a really small frame around the information? How can you enlarge the frame to see more of the picture? I find the idea of a frame really helpful, in big and small things alike. It’s easy to look at things happening in the world and feel fear and anxiety, and just like our golf course experience, I try to remind myself that with a bigger view, a larger frame we can make better sense of what is happening. What is the size of your frame? I’ve found this question to be so helpful, because there is always ways to widen the frame and look wider. “Look wide, and even when you think you are looking wide, look wider still.“ Robert Baden-Powell The Rest of the Story: What happened on the golf course is a man who had stolen a motorcycle had been pulled over along the road that runs by the golf course. He shot the officer (the officer was hospitalized and released) and he ran off the golf course and into a nearby cornfield, where he was “at large” for 90 minutes. There are so many moments of grace and ways that all of the golfers on the course were protected. A few seemingly small choices by the organizers of the tournament created safety and protected any of the young people who were there from being close to what was happening! If you like these questions, please consider SUBSCRIBING to The Art of Powering Down; Questions to Recharge Your Soul… Every week there is a question that will gently challenge you, encourage you, or help you live your life with more intention, grace, and purpose. (Sharing these reflections and questions with friends is the greatest compliment!)
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