History and Break down for “A Hole Through the Perfect Heart (Mind)

R.S. Rain

This was one of the poems where Rain wrote something different. The poem is experiential, in some ways. To understand the enormity or ‘big deal’ of this poem, we have to dive into how it began and the beginning of Rain’s poetry writing. Rain had always opted to write free verse poems as it was her favorite kind. Later, she introduced an enormous variety of figurative language in her free verse.

In Middle School, when she was introduced to poetry, she noticed that rhyming poems were more popular and common. She happened to come across a book, to her utter surprise, that was entirely written in verse. After reading the book, poetry was all her heart and mind knew. Even after attempting to write several stories, they all came out as poetry. That was when she backed away from writing stories.

Despite her shift towards writing poetry, she could not write a rhyming poem spontaneously. She found the rhyming structure difficult and very limiting, so she gave up on it altogether and decided to write according to her own preferences. From that point on, she refused to search for other poets, and she did not write sonnets or diamante, or other forms that might imitate other writers’ styles. Wanting to just write using her own style, Rain avoided diving into the poems that were written throughout history or are famous (as she felt like there was too much pressure to be like a certain poet or to use their style.)

Fast forward to her junior year in High School. At the end of the school year, the last week, I believe, Rain was in her Speech room just chilling, and since she cannot spend too much time without doing anything, she began to dabble on a folder. After doodling some flowers and hearts, the first two lines of a poem just came to her. It was time for her Creative Writing class. The late bell rang, and everyone was in their seats, they did not have any work to be done. It was basically a free period since their grade was already submitted for their report cards and the teacher said they could do whatever they wanted. Not surprising, the entire class started talking with one another or with the teacher talking about summer etc.

Meanwhile, Rain just sat there, bored out of her mind. She did not have a classmate to talk to, since she was a bit of a loner, and was a little bothered by the lack of work. She then looked at the lines on the folder on her desk and begin transferring the lines to a loose-leaf paper. The teacher did inquire at the time what she was doing, since she was the only one writing, and Rain said she was writing a poem.

Rain remembers thinking, it would be cool to rewrite the first few lines of every sentence in the first verse, using repetition to write the second verse. Also, as she wrote the poem, it rhymed. Surprisingly, it was not exceedingly difficult to rhyme because that was how the poem flowed (how it was meant to be).
It was so natural that there was she was not worried about finding the perfect rhyming word to create a flow. It is worth mentioning, at the end of class, she did show the poem to her teacher, informing him she just wrote it. She asked him to read it and got a satisfying surprised look from the teacher. She will always remember his response, “Wow, that’s awesome.”.

But wait. There is more. For Rain, the message behind this poem changed course after a few years. For better or worse, the poem went through a makeover, or, to be more precise, an enhancement. In the original version, Rain did not use the first person POV. Just like with THD, Rain had the feeling that this wasn’t enough, that there was more to be said. After rereading the poem many times, she contemplated whether to make it longer/continue the poem or not. But after staring at the poem for a while it hit her. Rain loves the idea of two different voices/speakers in her poems, a technique which she used in a few of the poems in this anthology.

Subject and Speaker of the Poem

While the poem is written using two different voices or from two different perspectives, the subject of the poem is an individual who is coping with mental illness brought on by the things that are haunting her, as well as the inability to . These things seem to lead into depression. As the poem progresses, the speaker indicates the challenges of her journey, as the two different speakers, the heart and the mind, express different perspectives on her journey. In the end, part of the mind must be sacrificed.

Poetic Techniques

Rain uses a variety of poetic techniques in the poem. She uses alliteration throughout as a sound effect to create the musicality of poetry. Rain also repeats line, which not only adds to the poetic effect, but is reflected in the meaning and themes of the poem, particularly the theme of the circularity of life. She also incorporates allusions which help to contribute to the meaning of the poem. Additionally, Rain uses metaphor throughout the poem to support the themes and meanings within the poem.

Summary of the Poem

“A Hole Through the Perfect Heart (Mind)” begins in the third-person point of view, describing the beauty that is hidden within and longs to be heard and, in a sense, to come to life. This beauty is in the darkness, and thus, no one can see it. The first stanza also introduces the idea of the mask that seems to also hide the truth from the outside world.

The second stanza introduces the second voice, in the poem, identified by both the shift into a first-person point of view and the use of italics. This voice is darker, indicating concerns that people who used to call themselves friends are laughing behind her back. This laughter haunts her. She also echoes the image of the “mask” used by the first speaker, but this one is a “killer’s mask.” Despite her desire to remove the mask, she is unable to, indicating that there is a safe switch that is stopping her. She also wishes that the friends’ whispers about her would stop. In this stanza, she alludes to the growth of a plant, which harkens back to her reference to the tree of knowledge which has taken root. Her desire is to take control of her own growth, to “be the water of [her] plant.” She hopes to allow it to grow based on its own natural inclinations.

In the third stanza, she returns to the voice from the first stanza, referring back to the idea of beauty, but instead commenting on the relationship between beauty and danger. In this stanza, beauty also has the ability to deceive and has power. The image of the mask recurs in this stanza as well, this time creating a “fake smile”and it acts as a way to hide any darkness that is inside the speaker; it also has the ability to mold itself, creating a method of separating the interior from the outside world. This stanza also mentions a deal with a demon, which seems to allude to a faustian bargain, a deal where one is willing to sacrifice anything to attain knowledge or power.

As the next stanza begins and the second speaker returns, she indicates a paradox. In this case, she is indicating that she is an “unbroken shard of glass.” The paradox seems to point out that there is only a piece of her left, and there is much going on that can’t be seen because it lingers beneath the surface, although the pain is so intense, that it is starting to show on the surface. She also indicates that she doesn’t want to be so fragile, a line that connects the reader back to the glass image at the beginning of the stanza.

With the return of the original speaker, she indicates that she is searching for salvation, an “angel,” but also indicates that the darkness seems to grow, and she seems to be transforming. The crows that she mentions are often portents of death and seem to be foreshadowing what will happen as the poem progresses.

The shame of the first-person speaker continues, as does her sense of helplessness and loss of control. Once the third-person speaker resumes, her stanza repeats the idea of searching, but also indicates the possibility of strength within, despite the darkness. Her reference to a queen seems to indicate a sort of royalty, and her reference to armies, indicates the strength to fight. However, there is a sense of anticipation that apologies would destroy the “monster not wanted.”
Despite that moment of hope, the return of the first-person voice brings a return of desperation as well. The speaker becomes the “apple” that has been “turned into juice,” a metaphor that indicates that damage cannot be undone. Continuing the apple metaphor, she struggles with the purpose of eating an apple, when a pill will provide nutrition just as well. However, the pill won’t satisfy the hunger she is experiencing, and so she desires a return to wholeness.

That desire for wholeness continues into the third-person stanza, where the speaker creates a metaphor of being a forest, which connects back to the earlier references to growing as well as to haunting, although by this point in the poem, the haunting happens with a thought of whether anyone is special. She also strives to take control through music and dancing.
With that, in the next first-person stanza, the first-person voice indicates a desire to not disappear as well as a desire to live “a straight line,” a desire, for life to proceed in an organized fashion, rather than moving in circles, which would indicate little to no forward progression, as also shown in her repetition of the word “round”.

The desire to be strong and remain steady persists in the next stanza, relying on imagination, music, and dancing to retain her balance. She also expresses concern about the black hole that threatens to consume her, creating a metaphor for herself as a “galaxy of earth.” The metaphor continues, referring to the stargazer and peace.

The final stanza for the third-person voice, continues the quest to get rid of the despair and to live a life that follows a straight line, as she descends into “the disease that cannot be cured.” As the leaves, which should be light fall, they have more force than she can withstand, but the end of the section seems to indicate a rebirth that will hopefully allow the beauty that has been hidden to be revealed.

The final two stanzas for the first-person voice indicate a sense of letting go, releasing the self from the reality it has lived with. The voice indicates a sense of the inherent possibilities of releasing a part of the mind.

Themes and Message

This poem is a coming of age poem in which the speaker must learn to cope with the challenges of growing up. Part of that coping requires accepting who she is as well as accepting what she has gone through in life, in particular the judgment of others as something that has shaped her. One of those challenges that she has faced is the challenge of being haunted by those who have tormented her in some way, in part because they cannot see the beauty that is inside her. Additionally; she must struggle with her own silence as she finds ways to cope. Her most significant coping methods are music and dance, two things that are repeated to emphasize their importance. She struggles against depression that arises from the challenges of growing up. In the end, sometimes part of the self must be sacrificed in order to grow.

In the end, she must not only survive despite the pain and the things that are haunting her, but grow, as indicated by the plant metaphors throughout, and not allow herself to be consumed. She must also accept the circularity of life, even while she longs to progress in a straight line. In the end, she desires that movement forward, rather than just spinning in circles and going nowhere.