Let Go

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Let Go

Hi friends,

I pray you are healthy and safe during this time of crisis. I still haven’t fully wrapped my head around it to be truthful. I can’t picture what future days might be like or if things will ever go back to ‘normal.’ I don’t know, but God does.

He’s really worked on my soul during the past two months.

I’m ashamed to admit it, especially as a Christian, but I struggle quite often with worry and fear. So, this pandemic has just stirred both up and it lies festering inside of me, but so does God. He lives in me through His Holy Spirit and He’s been using this time of quiet, of stillness to whisper love and trust to me. Here’s the thing, and any of you who know me well already know this, but I have a tendency…okay, a habitual stubborn streak. I, for what only reason God knows, can never do anything the easy way.

Even in writing. I don’t plot. I just sit down to write with a vague framework of an idea. I write all my first drafts longhand with an erasable pen and a legal pad—several legal pads, which I have to keep in order (as you might guess, organization is not my strong suit), so they can be typed in. I’m blessed to have an awesome friend who can actually read my writing and is willing to type in for me, so it saves me a bunch of time. After reading back through my horrific first draft, I do set out a revision plan, but I still go through multiple drafts, trying to find the right ‘fit,’ and it’s only with God’s help and guidance that I end up with a finished story that actually reads like a story and readers enjoy. All by His grace.

So why do I doubt His sovereignty in everyday life, particularly in adversity? I trust Him with my soul, my salvation, and an eternity spent with Him. But I still worry over big things and small. It practically takes God hitting me over the head to finally catch on. I’ve spent the last two months digging into His Word, following a daily Bible study, all focused on His sovereignty. I’m finally recognizing where I’ve been falling short and it all comes down to control and trust. I like to think I’m in control. But God tells us we aren’t. He tells us to trust Him and gives us the promise that we are never alone, but that takes letting go.

Letting go of our fears, our worries, our need to be in control. It’s taking God at His Word. It’s the difference in believing in Him and believing Him. I’m quoting Renee Swope’s A Confident Heart page 24. It’s part of my Thursday night Bible study and I highly recommend it. Believing Me, I hear God whisper and this time, in the stillness, in the sound of the sparrows chirping out front, I remember Jesus’ words.

”Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. [ b ] 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”