The Most Concise Milan Fashion Week Reviews on the Internet

Let’s cut to the chase: Unable to master the art of the rispetto over the weekend, I took to reviewing the shows from Milan Fashion Week in another poetic form (the humble haiku). If you’re looking for me, I’ll be the one in upside-down glasses, emerging from my syllabic detox faster than you say Guccio Gucci.

Max Mara

Harling slacked me:

“A good toggle,” slide sixteen.

For N. Pelosi?

Prada 

What comes after ath-

leisure? Ribbed tights, shoulders wide

as neckties are long.

Gucci

Boat shoes by Gucci!

Golly. And a dress as long

as my to-do list.

Emilio Pucci

Here is a diptych

of Pete Davidson and me

on a date. Sorry.

Fendi

Rethink Princess Peach

pink? Or salivate over

yellow satin shoes.

Moschino

Marie Antoinette’s

hips did not lie, even when

she most certainly—

La DoubleJ

How I hope I look

crossing the street, to check if

Levain opened yet.

Tod’s

Thought I saw you from

across the room, ogling my

woodshop goggles. Wink.

Etro

I’d wear this to lie

down in the model bed at

the Ralph Lauren store.

Marni

Ooh, patchwork persists

And I must say I’m pleased.

Look at Anna smile.

Versace

Please note the flare of

these pants and the impending

rain boot renaissance.

Salvatore Ferragamo

Is Ferragamo

leaning into leggings? I

wondered. Maybe so.

MSGM

I think I like the

horror movie genre now.

Ghastly! Persuasive!

Bottega Veneta

The grey area

between fringe and tendrils:

A butter-squid coat.

Missoni

Tuck your pants into

your knee-high boots? Anna Gray

said, “Sure! Fine! Ok!”

Jil Sander

Please excuse me for

the declaration: This show

was my favorite.

Photos via Getty Images and Vogue Runway.

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