our hearts have weights.
Went through a thing.
And came out of it.
More self aware.
More aware of others too.
That’s always the goal.
To learn and resolve to do better.
A few things that I have been ruminating over--
Sometimes when we say that something was poorly communicated by someone else. What we are really saying is: that thing that you communicated? Wasn’t communicated the way that *I* would have. Is that poor communication though? Or is that a difference in communication styles? I guess poor communication at its crux is not conveying to the other person, what we intended on articulating. I am guilty of poorly communicating at times. On the flip side of that: sometimes it’s not so much what we communicate, or even how we communicate--though these things are super important, obviously: but the readiness and the ability of the person on the other end to receive our message. Communication and relationships are nuanced and tricky.
Confrontation is so hard. Forgiveness is too. Both, necessary.
Relationship is really everything. Literally. Relationship to God. Relationship to others. Relationship with self. When any one of those is cracked---it’s alright to feel the weight of it. It just means that relationship is valued highly by you.
It’s hard to hear about ourselves. Especially when we are not ready or willing to.
Projections are real.
“The truth will set you free, but first it’ll piss you off.”
Social media is numbing cream for many.
Life is fleeting and so fragile. We should live in the constant awareness of that daily--not merely when tragedy strikes. Rest in peace Kobe, Gigi, and the equally precious lives lost on that chopper on Sunday. Our hearts have weights on them.
We cannot fault others for not being us. And for being themselves. For not being as introspective. Or maybe analytical. Or gentle. Or Firm. Or unaware. Or tender. Or complacent. We are different. And so our responsiveness will inevitably be varied. Remember that in times of conflict.
A correlation I have been drawing in my head--I think there is merit to it: loved ones who have been in therapy or are in therapy. Or really open to therapy. Who have sat with someone showing them, themselves. Are better able to do that for others, I find. And are less defensive when others do that for them. Correction or revelation, feels less of an attack when we shared in a space with a counselor doing that for us. My best accountability partners are those that have done that work... who have sat on somebody’s couch, and have been checked. And did the hard task of discovering themselves more. The ones conditioned to that practice. Those who willingly call me and say: “Soph, girl...check me, I need you to.” Those that have all the authority to say to me: “Soph...you know how you are...this is {enter unconstructive behavior/pattern here} that I see in you and this is what I think about it…” I value their judgement enough to listen, and take heed, whether what they are saying to me feels comfortable for me in the moment or not. Whether I agree with their findings or not. Friendship for me is me giving you permission and authority to hold that space for me. Vice versa. But friendship is not the same for all.
I am hypersensitive to when I feel loved ones are not standing with me. Particularly because I am coming out of a season where loved ones have not stood with me.
Intentions aren’t everything--but they are a lot of things.
Just because something *feels* like an attack, doesn’t mean it actually is.
Sometimes we aren’t clear ourselves about what our boundaries are, until someone blatantly crosses them. And then we are like...yup! Actually that’s it. You crossed it. Violation. Lol.
Humility is really really hard. I realize that I am not as great at it in some aspects of my life, as I am in others. That in and of itself is not a humble statement to make lol. What I mean is: when I feel hurt, it’s hard for me to practice humility. It’s hard for me to apologize. It’s hard for me to apologize first. And yet, in other areas of my life...with finances, flashiness, with accolades….I can generally be conservative about those things--I’m intentional about it actually...I guess humility is a nuanced concept too.
I can still have respect and love for what was, even if it’s no longer what is.
I ain’t for everybody.
And came out of it.
More self aware.
More aware of others too.
That’s always the goal.
To learn and resolve to do better.
A few things that I have been ruminating over--
Sometimes when we say that something was poorly communicated by someone else. What we are really saying is: that thing that you communicated? Wasn’t communicated the way that *I* would have. Is that poor communication though? Or is that a difference in communication styles? I guess poor communication at its crux is not conveying to the other person, what we intended on articulating. I am guilty of poorly communicating at times. On the flip side of that: sometimes it’s not so much what we communicate, or even how we communicate--though these things are super important, obviously: but the readiness and the ability of the person on the other end to receive our message. Communication and relationships are nuanced and tricky.
Confrontation is so hard. Forgiveness is too. Both, necessary.
Relationship is really everything. Literally. Relationship to God. Relationship to others. Relationship with self. When any one of those is cracked---it’s alright to feel the weight of it. It just means that relationship is valued highly by you.
It’s hard to hear about ourselves. Especially when we are not ready or willing to.
Projections are real.
“The truth will set you free, but first it’ll piss you off.”
Social media is numbing cream for many.
Life is fleeting and so fragile. We should live in the constant awareness of that daily--not merely when tragedy strikes. Rest in peace Kobe, Gigi, and the equally precious lives lost on that chopper on Sunday. Our hearts have weights on them.
We cannot fault others for not being us. And for being themselves. For not being as introspective. Or maybe analytical. Or gentle. Or Firm. Or unaware. Or tender. Or complacent. We are different. And so our responsiveness will inevitably be varied. Remember that in times of conflict.
A correlation I have been drawing in my head--I think there is merit to it: loved ones who have been in therapy or are in therapy. Or really open to therapy. Who have sat with someone showing them, themselves. Are better able to do that for others, I find. And are less defensive when others do that for them. Correction or revelation, feels less of an attack when we shared in a space with a counselor doing that for us. My best accountability partners are those that have done that work... who have sat on somebody’s couch, and have been checked. And did the hard task of discovering themselves more. The ones conditioned to that practice. Those who willingly call me and say: “Soph, girl...check me, I need you to.” Those that have all the authority to say to me: “Soph...you know how you are...this is {enter unconstructive behavior/pattern here} that I see in you and this is what I think about it…” I value their judgement enough to listen, and take heed, whether what they are saying to me feels comfortable for me in the moment or not. Whether I agree with their findings or not. Friendship for me is me giving you permission and authority to hold that space for me. Vice versa. But friendship is not the same for all.
I am hypersensitive to when I feel loved ones are not standing with me. Particularly because I am coming out of a season where loved ones have not stood with me.
Intentions aren’t everything--but they are a lot of things.
Just because something *feels* like an attack, doesn’t mean it actually is.
Sometimes we aren’t clear ourselves about what our boundaries are, until someone blatantly crosses them. And then we are like...yup! Actually that’s it. You crossed it. Violation. Lol.
Humility is really really hard. I realize that I am not as great at it in some aspects of my life, as I am in others. That in and of itself is not a humble statement to make lol. What I mean is: when I feel hurt, it’s hard for me to practice humility. It’s hard for me to apologize. It’s hard for me to apologize first. And yet, in other areas of my life...with finances, flashiness, with accolades….I can generally be conservative about those things--I’m intentional about it actually...I guess humility is a nuanced concept too.
I can still have respect and love for what was, even if it’s no longer what is.
I ain’t for everybody.
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