Maurice
My community recently suffered a tragic loss. It has been heavy. Though, in many ways I am a bit on the outskirts of the loss. A bit more removed than some of my loved ones. Still, I have been constantly ruminating over it in my head. Marinating in it in my spirit. Loss.
There is something different about attending a funeral of a peer: someone in your age group. Someone in their thirties. Just different. Life is so fleeting.
As I sat in on the funeral. & even now. I am moved that our friend was saved. I am moved that salvation exists. I have been walking with God, for more years than I have not. & sadly, my fire goes in & out. The notion of salvation hasn’t been so pronounced to me recently. Because like many other things and relationships I love, the relationship with Jesus can get rote. Can get routine. Life’s stressors can serve as a distraction. I move in my faith often. I think of God daily. But not so much salvation. Because I think it’s a gift that I have under-appreciated at times. It’s a packaged gift that sometimes feels like I don’t open until the end of my life… but salvation isn’t just about Glory. It’s about how we live in the now, too.
In that funeral though, I kept thinking about what a different level of sadness it would be, had he NOT been saved. Thank God he was. Thank God I am.
This whole ordeal awakened me. Made me more alive. Makes me see my friends more. Pause. Stare into their eyes. See what they are going through. Ask questions. Be thankful. Forgive. Move beyond conflict. Laugh over nonsense. Death really does that.
I am glad that I am intentional about expressing to my loved ones how I feel about them often. It sickens most of them-- lol. I’m the sappy one in all my friend groups. But it’s because I have experienced losses before. & so it made me a firm believer that it’s not only at funerals & repasses & the eerie days following a loved one’s transition that we express our gratitude for them...that we share hilarious & nostalgic memories involving them. How fuller would our lives be if we really knew the good things that our loved ones believe of us?
Our relationships with Christ & one another are everything.
Thanks for reminding me of that, sweet Maurice. The sweetest reminder ever. I will always remember you for what you reinvigorated in me.
There is something different about attending a funeral of a peer: someone in your age group. Someone in their thirties. Just different. Life is so fleeting.
As I sat in on the funeral. & even now. I am moved that our friend was saved. I am moved that salvation exists. I have been walking with God, for more years than I have not. & sadly, my fire goes in & out. The notion of salvation hasn’t been so pronounced to me recently. Because like many other things and relationships I love, the relationship with Jesus can get rote. Can get routine. Life’s stressors can serve as a distraction. I move in my faith often. I think of God daily. But not so much salvation. Because I think it’s a gift that I have under-appreciated at times. It’s a packaged gift that sometimes feels like I don’t open until the end of my life… but salvation isn’t just about Glory. It’s about how we live in the now, too.
In that funeral though, I kept thinking about what a different level of sadness it would be, had he NOT been saved. Thank God he was. Thank God I am.
This whole ordeal awakened me. Made me more alive. Makes me see my friends more. Pause. Stare into their eyes. See what they are going through. Ask questions. Be thankful. Forgive. Move beyond conflict. Laugh over nonsense. Death really does that.
I am glad that I am intentional about expressing to my loved ones how I feel about them often. It sickens most of them-- lol. I’m the sappy one in all my friend groups. But it’s because I have experienced losses before. & so it made me a firm believer that it’s not only at funerals & repasses & the eerie days following a loved one’s transition that we express our gratitude for them...that we share hilarious & nostalgic memories involving them. How fuller would our lives be if we really knew the good things that our loved ones believe of us?
Our relationships with Christ & one another are everything.
Thanks for reminding me of that, sweet Maurice. The sweetest reminder ever. I will always remember you for what you reinvigorated in me.
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