Minimizing Triggers from My Domestic Violence Abuse
Triggers are Painful Memories 
I continue to be overwhelmed by thoughts and feelings that bring me back to my abusive past. Daily, I struggle to keep these domestic violence triggers of my past under control. I have learned that minimizing triggers from my domestic violence abuse lessens my anxiety and safety concerns.
It seems unfair that my abuse was so horrendous that the memories are deeply ingrained in my head. After being removed from my abuser, I still experience anxiety attacks or overwhelming feeling of being unsafe coming out of nowhere. Deep in my subconscious, where I am or what I am doing strongly triggers a painful piece of my past. I feel like I am reliving the event again. My abuser isn’t around anymore, but my reaction to triggers makes me feel like I am reliving the event all over again. I hate that my abuser has the ability to continue to interfere and impact my ability to function. I despise that fact that the memories of what he did and said to me are so ingrained in my mind that I am never completely away from his influences. All I want to do is move on with my life and get away from him. I am tired of my abuser’s ability to create havoc in my world. Two Types of Triggers After years of self-reflection, I have been able to break the triggers that impact me into two categories; those that bring me back to painful thoughts and those that bring me back to a painful, anxiety, and unsafe experience.
Triggers that bring me back to painful thoughts are frustrating because the thoughts have the ability to freely rattle around in my mind for hours at a time. For me, after I figure out what one of these triggers are, I can try my hardest to avoid them. Three examples of this type of trigger for me include:Songs on the radio: this is why I only listen to CD’sThe color of my abuser’s Alma mater: this is why I do not allow the color of my abuser’s Alma mater in my world at allGrocery stores, billboards, and driving routes: this is why I frequently change where I drive based on visual reminders of abusive situations
Triggers that bring me back to painful, unsafe situations are often challenging for me to identify. Most of the time I am not aware that something is going to bother me until it actually happens. These type of triggers often attack me when I least expect it. They attack me so overwhelmingly that I quickly lose control of the situation. The best I can do is either avoid these situations or control them as best as I can. Examples of how I manage this include:Staying away from large crowds and always sitting in an aisle seatAvoiding new surroundings and events unless I am with someone who understands my backgroundRefraining from attending movies and events that have the ability to stir up conflicting emotions
For the most part, the only reason I am able to live a semi-functioning life right now is because of the control I maintain in my world. To many people, it probably sounds too restrictive. But, for me, the planning I do minimizes the effects of my past being able to attack me. Of course, all the planning and strategizing that I do doesn’t completely keep my mind protected. But, I strongly believe it cuts down on the impact and randomness of what upsets me.
Blessings,
Sue
I continue to be overwhelmed by thoughts and feelings that bring me back to my abusive past. Daily, I struggle to keep these domestic violence triggers of my past under control. I have learned that minimizing triggers from my domestic violence abuse lessens my anxiety and safety concerns.
It seems unfair that my abuse was so horrendous that the memories are deeply ingrained in my head. After being removed from my abuser, I still experience anxiety attacks or overwhelming feeling of being unsafe coming out of nowhere. Deep in my subconscious, where I am or what I am doing strongly triggers a painful piece of my past. I feel like I am reliving the event again. My abuser isn’t around anymore, but my reaction to triggers makes me feel like I am reliving the event all over again. I hate that my abuser has the ability to continue to interfere and impact my ability to function. I despise that fact that the memories of what he did and said to me are so ingrained in my mind that I am never completely away from his influences. All I want to do is move on with my life and get away from him. I am tired of my abuser’s ability to create havoc in my world. Two Types of Triggers After years of self-reflection, I have been able to break the triggers that impact me into two categories; those that bring me back to painful thoughts and those that bring me back to a painful, anxiety, and unsafe experience.
Triggers that bring me back to painful thoughts are frustrating because the thoughts have the ability to freely rattle around in my mind for hours at a time. For me, after I figure out what one of these triggers are, I can try my hardest to avoid them. Three examples of this type of trigger for me include:Songs on the radio: this is why I only listen to CD’sThe color of my abuser’s Alma mater: this is why I do not allow the color of my abuser’s Alma mater in my world at allGrocery stores, billboards, and driving routes: this is why I frequently change where I drive based on visual reminders of abusive situations
Triggers that bring me back to painful, unsafe situations are often challenging for me to identify. Most of the time I am not aware that something is going to bother me until it actually happens. These type of triggers often attack me when I least expect it. They attack me so overwhelmingly that I quickly lose control of the situation. The best I can do is either avoid these situations or control them as best as I can. Examples of how I manage this include:Staying away from large crowds and always sitting in an aisle seatAvoiding new surroundings and events unless I am with someone who understands my backgroundRefraining from attending movies and events that have the ability to stir up conflicting emotions
For the most part, the only reason I am able to live a semi-functioning life right now is because of the control I maintain in my world. To many people, it probably sounds too restrictive. But, for me, the planning I do minimizes the effects of my past being able to attack me. Of course, all the planning and strategizing that I do doesn’t completely keep my mind protected. But, I strongly believe it cuts down on the impact and randomness of what upsets me.
Blessings,
Sue
No comments have been added yet.
