Better…Together…

Better…Together…

I’m assuming it’s not just me, I hope it’s not just me, but at times when there is an abundance of change and numerous options to select, there is a mental desire to tailspin out of control.

Let’s start with the easier worries first, which for once, are those in the dating realm. Things with Baltimore are good. We are moving along at a comfortable pace, no one is acting like a psycho bitch [read between the lines; me], and we have no insurmountable issues.

The only upcoming issue I foresee is Spain. My goal was to move by the time I turned 35. Well, we are a short eight months away from that hard deadline and I am in a good position to make the move. I have a work situation that will allow me to change countries without disruption. The issue is, Baltimore has a job tied to the U.S. government and has a number of restrictions and security location requirements. At best, he can relocate to Germany or England. I’d vote for England, as he loves London like I love lattes, and it’s relatively close to Spain. In fact, it’s technically closer than our current homes [Puerto Rico and Maryland].

Additionally, Baltimore doesn’t speak Spanish, so I’m pretty sure there is no possibility of getting him to live in España. I see no difference in us living 300 miles apart in Europe or 1,500 miles apart in the U.S. Do you? I suppose you could argue the goal on his end may be to get us to the same permanent location, to which I’d argue isn’t a necessity in the modern world with our numerous transportation options.

Now, tack on an upcoming work obligation. I may have to live in Boston for the next 3 to 6 months to fulfill a contract. Which makes me cringe, as I have no desire to be in Boston or the cold. But, I’m willing to do it for the money. Let’s be honest, it’s always a driving factor. This traps me in the U.S. for the better part of 2020, but makes me want to make the leap to Spain even more, as this obligation will conclude right before my birthday.

Oh, and I’ve sold my condo in Puerto Rico, closing in a week or so. This is why I mentioned that I’m in a prime position to be making life changes. If I sit too long after the sale, I’m pretty sure I’ll end up tied to another condo here in PR. That wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, but I also think it will prevent me from moving to Spain. Which Baltimore would probably prefer.

This is very much reminiscent of leaving New York. All the will-won’t I crazy headspace. Lack of options can be incredibly painful, but the multitude of options can be maddening. Add in this mix of not having the ability to be completely selfish, as per usual, and do exactly what I want, and it’s enough to make a person certifiably nuts.

R.B. Winters
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