R.B. Winters's Blog: Rent (minus) Control
January 23, 2022
Wilson Avenue Memories
My friend, and former roommate, sent me a photo a few days ago. I had to look at it a few times. Was that our old apartment? The outside looked different. I swear it was brick before, but now it’s an ugly blue siding.
We lived in that apartment for about six months due to the black mold we discovered growing in my roomies closet that was giving her terrible rashes. We only found the mold because she happened to be cleaning out her closet and we were dressing up in old Halloween costumes while rocking out to some early 2000’s music.
It all sounds like your typical twenty-something New York life. It was, except for everything the Summer we chose to move into that apartment should have been a warning sign.
Let’s go through the insane checklist of things that happened in just this one apartment:
The day we moved in, we were placed in the apartment across the hall from the one we had looked at, you know, where we thought we would live.No running water or power when we moved in…or for the first few weeks of living there.Our toilet was caked with human waste from whoever had been working in the apartment prior to us moving in.The landlord was nearly impossible to get in touch with once we had the keys.Things were constantly disappearing during our first few months of living there. Culminating with the disappearance of my laptop, and the morning that I was home when a thief climbed in our back window and we came face-to-face.The cops, who we called due to the robberies, told us to avoid the hallways because of junkies hiding in the dark.Our horrible neighbor across the hall who was constantly complaining to us.A horrible stench from a dead rat that had been walled up behind the tiny dishwasher during the building’s renovations.Then, of course, the mold.Even with all those things, I still love Brooklyn, and credit it with making me a tough person. I mean, nothing living on the Upper East Side or in Puerto Rico ever compared to half of the shit that went down in Brooklyn. Remember, this was just one apartment in which we lived for a few months.
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January 16, 2022
Spoiled Rotten Pets
December 27, 2020, was the day we brought Miss Tedy Pickles home. She was calm, docile, and truly the most relaxed pug I’d ever met. Two nights later she was getting a little more wild and crazy, and we woke early, around two, to find a fun surprise. Tedy had taken a huge, runny puppy poop in the bed. Oh, we were also in Florida visiting family for the holidays. So, the white sheets she covered in her disgusting puppy splatter were hotel sheets that we had to do our best to clean.
I share this as it should have been a sign of what the first year was going to be like. My previous dog, also a pug, passed away in 2010. His name was Chico and we had to put him to sleep as he’d become very ill due to a degenerative disease that was rapidly tearing him apart. He was only eight years old at the time. I recall him being a food motivated, lazy loaf who loved sofa cuddles. The puppy years are so far in the past I can’t really recall.
Well, Tedy gave my partner, Brian, and I a crash course in what it means to be dog parents. I don’t say, pet parents, as our cats are both, well were older. Elle passed away from cancer in November of 2021. She and Muffin are the typical older cats. They give zero shits about anything that isn’t a warm bed, a bowl of food, or the occasional treat.
Tedy on the other hand is a full-time child that needs constant attention. I say that as a reflection from day one through today. She is potty trained, which is great, but that doesn’t mean she can be left unsupervised. If you try to ignore her while working, she’ll begin to run about making noise, getting into everything she can until you either come and play or attempt to stop her. That’s a problem in its own right. She thinks grabbing her is a game… so she runs. Of course, the kitchen has an island. This means we often end up running laps around it trying to grab her. Sometimes I turn on my Apple Watch to get the extra points towards closing my rings.
None of this sounds insane for those who have had dogs consistently in their lives. For us, after a decade of no dog and only cats, it was like adopting a toddler who isn’t really growing up. She’s matured into true toddler who now will scratch at your leg when you are trying to work, but won’t let you pick her up. She will cry if you leave her downstairs while you run up to use the restroom. She’ll lose her shit when food is out and terrorize the cat if she gets near us when a treat is at stake.
Don’t get me wrong. We love Tedy PIckles, but I truly forgot how much work pug babies are and have no idea how people have actually children. I’m definitely looking forward to a few years from now when she’s far enough away from the puppy days that her focus is purely food and sleep. At that point, we’ll be on the same page.
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January 3, 2022
While You Were Gone VI
It’s been a year or two since I shared one of these posts with you. I didn’t actually post last year because life was pandemic crazy. I’m glad you were able to miss out on that. It hasn’t been joyous.
I got engaged and married. Dad has been very on board, and I’m pretty sure you would have been as well. Brian’s a nerd like myself, so that helps, and he enjoys travel. Not that we’ve been allowed to do much of it lately, but hopefully our South America trip will happen. We’ll see, as Covid is constantly evolving and finding new ways to make life terrible.
Not that I communicate with your other kids, but I did see a post this morning from your son. He has a big busted lip. I think someone may have finally put him in his place for running his drunk mouth. It’s a guess, but there’s a strong possibility that I’m correct.
All crazy world events and family things aside, I have been looking forward to 2022. This is the year we’re making the move to Europe. Oh, I forgot to mention I moved back stateside and said goodbye to Puerto Rico. That turned out to be for the best as the stress of hurricanes was too much after living through Irma and Maria in 2017. Not that we can fully avoid natural disasters, but I’d prefer to not live directly in the path of something so ferocious if possible.
I’m aiming for Spain. However, it’s probably going to end up with us living in the U.K. Or Germany. Brian and I have very different jobs. I have my own company and he works as a government contractor in the intelligence space. He’s aiming to exit government work but there are still only so many jobs in his world and those two countries seem to be where he can most easily transition. We’ll see.
2022 has only begun and I’m ready to jump to the middle so we can make the move. Who knows, it may result is some interesting stories for another book or at least some posts.
It hasn’t been that exciting of a year, or two, considering one was in lockdown, and the other has been so consumed with work that there is literally no time for anything else. Maybe this year will be different…but I’m fairly certain it won’t.
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December 20, 2021
And Just Like That…
Yes, I’m getting on the pop culture wagon and taking the title of this post from the popular television series. So, it’s been a long time since I’ve put any personal writings down on paper or post.
A little back story. Over the last two years, my business partner and I have been working our asses off to build our business, Digitiv. With that focus, I’ve not paid any attention to my personal writing. So much so, that I disregarded the notices from my web host, as they weren’t for a client, so they didn’t matter. Well, one afternoon I got the itch to write a blog. When I tried to log in to rbwinters.com I discovered the hosting had lapsed due to an expired credit card. Since it had been more than 90 days, the host had deleted the data backups.
13 years of blogs, ideas, ramblings, and thoughts removed from the world by a simple mistake on my part. It has taken me months to have any motivation after that loss to want to come anywhere near this website. I’ll admit, at the moment it is very basic site. I’ve literally put up the home and blog pages.
Since this is my first post in a new chapter, after the loss of all my old musings, I’m hoping that along with continuing to overshare, this new version of my writing can also reflect some change and growth in tone. That is not to say you won’t get to enjoy the occasional crazy ramblings of another internet nobody, but I think the stories will reflect the change that has taken place over the last few years.
And just like that… we’re starting all over.
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March 22, 2020
On the Inside
As someone who has worked from home for many, many, many years and a person who prefers to be alone, the world’s current pandemic is sort of working in my favor. Happily, I am doing my part to lock myself inside and avoid all human contact. My counterparts don’t seem to be doing too, or handling it I should say, as well.
After only five days, I’ve heard a number of complaints, obviously via email and online, as we can’t be near other humans. I can’t relate. Aside from the fact we may all catch a virus with the potential to kill us, it’s amazing to have a reason to lock yourself inside and not have people trying to drag you into the world.
It’s worth mentioning, I’m six weeks into a work project in Boston which has me living in a Marriott. So, my end of the world is coming with a little bit of creature comfort. I mean, they have stopped housekeeping and closed the gym, but all of that can be managed because you can get wine from the lobby on demand.
It will be interesting to see as we get into weeks three and four of humans being unable to go out and frolic. Beyond the economic toll, will crime start to skyrocket, will people actually begin going insane? I suppose we’ll watch it all unfold on Facebook, or the news, as between the two of them they’re perfect for stirring up a psychotic frenzy with the masses.
On a plus, this is a great excuse to spend the weekend with the voices in my head writing. Maybe I’ll actually get another book finished…after only two and a half years.
Hope you’re all stocked up with your lobby wine and single roll toilet papers TBD on the future!
January 19, 2020
Better…Together…
I’m assuming it’s not just me, I hope it’s not just me, but at times when there is an abundance of change and numerous options to select, there is a mental desire to tailspin out of control.
Let’s start with the easier worries first, which for once, are those in the dating realm. Things with Baltimore are good. We are moving along at a comfortable pace, no one is acting like a psycho bitch [read between the lines; me], and we have no insurmountable issues.
The only upcoming issue I foresee is Spain. My goal was to move by the time I turned 35. Well, we are a short eight months away from that hard deadline and I am in a good position to make the move. I have a work situation that will allow me to change countries without disruption. The issue is, Baltimore has a job tied to the U.S. government and has a number of restrictions and security location requirements. At best, he can relocate to Germany or England. I’d vote for England, as he loves London like I love lattes, and it’s relatively close to Spain. In fact, it’s technically closer than our current homes [Puerto Rico and Maryland].
Additionally, Baltimore doesn’t speak Spanish, so I’m pretty sure there is no possibility of getting him to live in España. I see no difference in us living 300 miles apart in Europe or 1,500 miles apart in the U.S. Do you? I suppose you could argue the goal on his end may be to get us to the same permanent location, to which I’d argue isn’t a necessity in the modern world with our numerous transportation options.
Now, tack on an upcoming work obligation. I may have to live in Boston for the next 3 to 6 months to fulfill a contract. Which makes me cringe, as I have no desire to be in Boston or the cold. But, I’m willing to do it for the money. Let’s be honest, it’s always a driving factor. This traps me in the U.S. for the better part of 2020, but makes me want to make the leap to Spain even more, as this obligation will conclude right before my birthday.
Oh, and I’ve sold my condo in Puerto Rico, closing in a week or so. This is why I mentioned that I’m in a prime position to be making life changes. If I sit too long after the sale, I’m pretty sure I’ll end up tied to another condo here in PR. That wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, but I also think it will prevent me from moving to Spain. Which Baltimore would probably prefer.
This is very much reminiscent of leaving New York. All the will-won’t I crazy headspace. Lack of options can be incredibly painful, but the multitude of options can be maddening. Add in this mix of not having the ability to be completely selfish, as per usual, and do exactly what I want, and it’s enough to make a person certifiably nuts.
December 31, 2019
While You Were Gone VI
It’s been…a year. Not bad, but so busy that it’s crazy to think we’re about to enter a new year and decade. Let’s see, what have you missed…
Well, as of now, everything is once again in flux. A new hotel is being constructed next to my condo. As in, so close that the view of Old San Juan, which is my favorite part of the place, will be totally lost. Due to this, I decided to put the condo up for sale, and much to my surprise, we are two weeks away from closing. This is great, as it’s a stress relief, but gives way to stresses such as; Do I want to buy a new condo in Puerto Rico? Is this an opportunity to make the jump to Spain? Do I rent and be a floater in life for a while? Yes, these are all first-world problems, yet here we are.
This year I left the new job I was testing out. I went back to the job that stresses me to the point of new wrinkles and greying hair. In a way, it’s like 2020 is a revision of 2018 based on work.
Between the job swaps, I did take six weeks to study Spanish in Spain. My language skills remain complete trash, but I keep working on mastering this language of rolling tongues. In fact, I plan to spend five more weeks in Spain once February arrives. Let’s see if that happens. Also, the long term dating does hurt my ability to simply pick up and leave. This affection for other humans is somewhat problematic. I may have to lock him in a box and make the move against his will. Reminder – add air holes to said box.
There were many mini-adventures throughout the year in an attempt to get outside the box, see new things, places and Starbucks locations. I did fit in one last miles run [yesterday] from Baltimore to Miami to make sure I held my Delta status for 2020. It’s one of those little things where you’ve been spoiled and can’t go back to the normal way of life. I need my free upgrades and cocktails!
Even with my “healthy goals” I think 2019 has had more hangovers and crazy times than the last few years. That’s saying something as I still manage to be in bed almost every night no later than 10:00 PM. Actually, that’s what’s new this year – I’m old! I’ve completely adopted old person bed life. If I can go to bed, I’m in the bed. That’s probably also a motto for many street walkers. Good for them.
Until next year, a toast!
October 13, 2019
Persona: Sassy
Last week, my friend was hosting a friend from D.C. here in Puerto Rico. Another tech type, who was mainly here looking for Sun and sex.
The three of us were at my favorite of bars, El Mercado de Paseo Caribe, on Wednesday evening well beyond closing. A benefit, pitfall, of befriending the bartenders. As we were chatting, the visitor, who we are going to call Sam, was aggressively searching Grindr. His goal was to find a hookup on his final night in town. Oddly enough, he’s a top, and apparently so is every other gay in San Juan [at least that’s what they say…].
When asking what kind of guy he was looking for, he began alluding to some like myself. Which pretty much means he wanted a pale, white guy. There are plenty of them here, but for the most part, they’re on the cruise ships and not going to be as readily available as someone living here.
My friend, playing instigator, went ahead and noted some comments Sam had made about my body the day prior. I’m feeling pretty good about my appearance, I’ve been in the gym pretty heavily lately. I also don’t really enjoy going out that much these days which helps build abs. I’d rather drink my box of wine at home where I can sit around half naked and not hear or see other humans. Sam found this perplexing.
“What’s the point of trying to look good if you don’t go out and let anyone see you?” Sam asked. To which I promptly replied, “Who gives a shit what anyone thinks? I’m not working out for them.” My comments were met with a vacant glare, before, “Have you always been this sassy?” I’ve never in my life been referred to as sassy, but I’m completely loving the compliment/judgment. I don’t think I’ve always been this “sassy”, but I’ve always had a mouth on me.
You’d think the story ends there, but seeing as it was a work night and we all had far too much to drink, it was about 1:00 am when I crawled into bed. Not long after I could hear someone trying to unlock the front door. I got up, tossed on some shorts and pulled open the door. There was Sam, hunched over trying to unlock my apartment door. Apparently, he’d gone upstairs to my friend’s apartment, we live in the same building, grabbed my spare key and was going to make an attempt to do something.
He was stunned when I opened the door and asked what he wanted. Too much sass for this time of evening? After he stuttered his way back down the hall and presumably upstairs, I went to bed.
I’m officially declaring my newest persona the sassy one. Sassy, Bobby! And on a lighter note, even though everyone keeps telling me my boyfriend looks younger than me, damn him to hell, at least I can still sexually frustrate and confuse strangers. That’s really all that matters. Guess it’s time to get back into the book writing.
August 31, 2019
Smush it All in!
Summer is practically over, and I’ve more or less stayed away from writing. Not intentionally of course, but somehow the days are passing by with such haste that there’s never a moment to sit, breathe and word vomit all over the internet. So, I found some time and we have a lot to cram in from the last two months.
Let’s start with my Spain pains. There was a post or two in June about my gallivanting around Spain. After a month aboard, I went back for what was to be another five weeks of Spanish good times. That trip started with Baltimore coming along for a week to do some tourist activities and what I enjoy most of all – being in Spain!
However, every morning when I would get up to hit the gym I’d have this nauseous feeling. You’d think it was a hangover, but I’d been fairly light on the drink as I had a stomach which hated me for some unknown reason. We never did figure out what was wrong with me, but I literally vomited my way across hundreds of kilometers of Spanish countryside. I found myself very thankful for the many available trash cans and bushes.
The trip was cut 4 weeks short, not because of my vomit stained face, but because I accepted a new work position that would be better served if I were to wait a few months to complete the trip. Let’s be realistic, I’ll always chase the money.
Back stateside, I had a little bit of a virtual word war with my Straights. If you don’t recall, let me summarize: NYC friends who moved a few times ended up in Seattle and have had a rocky relationship with me for the last two years. To set the stage for this most recent and final encounter, we must rewind to the beginning of 2019. I was traveling to Seattle for work, where the Straights live. I had my hotel booked when lady Straight said she’d get me a suite for the same price at her hotel. Sounded good, so I accepted the offer.
Once in Seattle, the plan was to meet in her hotel lobby for drinks, catch up and then resume our regularly scheduled lives. First night, never heard from her. I assumed she was work busy and went about my evening. I was there two more nights and received not a single text or call. This seemed really strange considering she was the one who encouraged me to stay at her hotel.
Now, maybe this was a final revenge type of situation. The “suite” was a second floor room overlooking a 24-hour parking garage that was very busy and made lots of noise as cars entered and exited. At the end, I sent a thank you text, boarded my flight and didn’t think about it again for seven months. Then I got drunk.
I was in one of those fun/dangerous drunk places where you remember someone pissed you off and go on a mission to confront them. So, I did just that. Lady Straight never responded, she simply blocked me on Facebook. We are very adult people as one of us approaches 40. That friendship is obviously dead, but I still don’t get the point of asking me to stay in a hotel where you work if you wish to not engage. Such odd behavior and a disappointing way to end the storyline.
Then we come to now, where I sit in Puerto Rico typing away from my employer’s apartment. My apartment has a renter, as I’ve been trying to earn a few dollars while off and abroad. I had planned to not renew the lease beyond today when it was scheduled to expire. That was until last Monday when I discovered my mortgage hazard insurance would jump from $89/month to $655/month. See, the insurance company for my building went bankrupt after Hurricane Maria. On this tiny island, there is only a single company willing to provide coverage, so all 169 units of the building are being raped. Oh, money.
Yes, the summer has been full of fallout, vomit and price tags. Let’s see what my birth month holds. C’mon September!
June 16, 2019
Daddy?
Father’s Day is a holiday I’ve always given the typical attention. Talk to my dad, wish him a good day, go about my business. This year is a tad different. I’m older. Obviously. This year however, strangers have been wishing me a happy Father’s Day. WHAT?!
I’m well beyond old enough to have a child. If I had followed in my father’s exact footsteps, at this age I would have a six-year-old. I’d have a tiny person who was either completing, or preparing to begin, Kindergarten. This seems a little surprising, as I consider myself nowhere near the point in life where I should be, or am, capable of taking care of another life which is fully dependent upon me.
I have several friends on the parent path, and they’re all doing great and seem to be genuinely happy. Which probably means there are parent people and non-parent people. I’m glad my friend’s are enjoying parenthood, but I don’t think that’s ever a path I would be willing to take.
Instead of being a parent, I’ve decided to do all those things that you either wait to do until retirement, or do on your parent’s dime in college. I took five weeks to explore Spain and study Spanish at the beginning of the summer. It was amazing, and I’m heading back to Spain for another six weeks beginning in July. Side note – this has been a great way to discover a ton of different cities. How else will I find the one I want to live in one day?
It still boggles my mind a bit that strangers in the grocery store think I might be a father. Maybe it’s a compliment, or a nicety, but please keep the sentiment to yourself. A ‘have a nice day’ is more than sufficient for this non-baby daddy.
Rent (minus) Control
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