OBie's NY's Resolutions
OBie’s New Year’s Resolutions
On Mondays, I host a Facebook Book Club. Well, I don’t really host it, my dog, OBie, does. It is for all ages but the titles are absurd, yet real, book titles that actually exist on Amazon. OBie and I discuss this ridiculousness with humour.
Since this past week’s book title, which really wasn’t at all bad this time, was entitled, Shante Keys and the New Year’s Peas, it got OBie and me thinking about making resolutions in the new year. Do you make them and more importantly, do you keep them?
OBie had a few of his he shared at the book club meeting. He wanted you to know about them should you have a dog, or heaven forbid a cat (Just kidding! I miss my sidekick, Boo) and want to discuss with your pet about what kind of behaviors you want changed in the coming year. Here is OBie’s list. See if you can relate to them if you own a dog.
1. I will try not to bark each time I hear a door bell ring…on TV! (Or as my parents say when the bell goes off at the beginning of a round on Wheel of Fortune).
2. I will take my doggie pills without spitting them back out but only if they are wrapped in peanut butter or another yummy treat.
3. This one gets my goose: I am not going to feel bad should I pass gas around my immediate family. My dad does it and he doesn’t feel bad. As a matter of fact, he laughs about it. And to think he is my role model.
4. I will try to become best friends and not bark too much like before at the mailman, mail-woman, or anyone else delivering packages or comes up to knock at our front door. We have a glass front door and it is so tempting to make sure they hear me. I am trying to protect my family and after all, they do leave soon after I start barking. And do I ever get thanked for that? No.
5. If I get sick in the middle of the night, I will try my best to make it to the tile area in the bathroom and not have an accident on my mama’s expensive oriental rugs. I know she’ll like this resolution.
6. I will be less afraid of the vacuum or other things that make loud noises. Right now, I am working on the street sweeper that cleans up our street once a week around five o’clock a.m. It has such a high pitch, it really bothers me. I can’t promise getting over fire works on the Fourth of July or New Year’s Eve, though. My parents will still have to comfort me at those times for sure.
7. My mama and daddy are lucky I do not have to make a resolution about eating my poop or any other dog, cat, baby, or others’ poop. To think I have some dog friends who do that! That’s just gross. I am a gentleman.
8. But, I still will not like my parents coming home from visiting another’s home that owns a dog and smelling like their dog. It breaks my heart. Why couldn’t I have gone with them? What were they doing without me? I love them so much, I might be a little jealous.
I’ll keep you updated on my progress. Do you think I can keep these promises? Oh, and by the way…my mama and daddy are superstitious and enjoyed their collards, black eyes-peas, cornbread, pork, creamed corn, coleslaw, and carrot salad. I guess we really top off every new year with all these habits to cover our bases against any bad luck for the upcoming year.
Lee St. John was selected as Erma Bombeck’s Writers’ Workshop Humor Writer of the month for January 2020. Her instincts of making sure she continued with her family's NYDay meal of good fortune helped seal the deal for this award! Don't forget to serve yours for next year's good fortune!
On Mondays, I host a Facebook Book Club. Well, I don’t really host it, my dog, OBie, does. It is for all ages but the titles are absurd, yet real, book titles that actually exist on Amazon. OBie and I discuss this ridiculousness with humour.
Since this past week’s book title, which really wasn’t at all bad this time, was entitled, Shante Keys and the New Year’s Peas, it got OBie and me thinking about making resolutions in the new year. Do you make them and more importantly, do you keep them?
OBie had a few of his he shared at the book club meeting. He wanted you to know about them should you have a dog, or heaven forbid a cat (Just kidding! I miss my sidekick, Boo) and want to discuss with your pet about what kind of behaviors you want changed in the coming year. Here is OBie’s list. See if you can relate to them if you own a dog.
1. I will try not to bark each time I hear a door bell ring…on TV! (Or as my parents say when the bell goes off at the beginning of a round on Wheel of Fortune).
2. I will take my doggie pills without spitting them back out but only if they are wrapped in peanut butter or another yummy treat.
3. This one gets my goose: I am not going to feel bad should I pass gas around my immediate family. My dad does it and he doesn’t feel bad. As a matter of fact, he laughs about it. And to think he is my role model.
4. I will try to become best friends and not bark too much like before at the mailman, mail-woman, or anyone else delivering packages or comes up to knock at our front door. We have a glass front door and it is so tempting to make sure they hear me. I am trying to protect my family and after all, they do leave soon after I start barking. And do I ever get thanked for that? No.
5. If I get sick in the middle of the night, I will try my best to make it to the tile area in the bathroom and not have an accident on my mama’s expensive oriental rugs. I know she’ll like this resolution.
6. I will be less afraid of the vacuum or other things that make loud noises. Right now, I am working on the street sweeper that cleans up our street once a week around five o’clock a.m. It has such a high pitch, it really bothers me. I can’t promise getting over fire works on the Fourth of July or New Year’s Eve, though. My parents will still have to comfort me at those times for sure.
7. My mama and daddy are lucky I do not have to make a resolution about eating my poop or any other dog, cat, baby, or others’ poop. To think I have some dog friends who do that! That’s just gross. I am a gentleman.
8. But, I still will not like my parents coming home from visiting another’s home that owns a dog and smelling like their dog. It breaks my heart. Why couldn’t I have gone with them? What were they doing without me? I love them so much, I might be a little jealous.
I’ll keep you updated on my progress. Do you think I can keep these promises? Oh, and by the way…my mama and daddy are superstitious and enjoyed their collards, black eyes-peas, cornbread, pork, creamed corn, coleslaw, and carrot salad. I guess we really top off every new year with all these habits to cover our bases against any bad luck for the upcoming year.
Lee St. John was selected as Erma Bombeck’s Writers’ Workshop Humor Writer of the month for January 2020. Her instincts of making sure she continued with her family's NYDay meal of good fortune helped seal the deal for this award! Don't forget to serve yours for next year's good fortune!
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