in the end

When I got back from NYC on Thursday there were so many packages in the vestibule that I had to make three trips to get everything upstairs to my apartment! I’ve got a holiday book fair in Harlem next weekend and realized at the last minute that I had to supply the books myself. Then I ordered books for the seniors group at Bethel AME since I’ve been invited to present in the new year. I also wanted to donate books to a laundromat literacy program so ordered some copies of the City Kids Series. At this point, when the clerk at the post office sees me coming, she knows I’m going to ask for media rate because I’m always shipping books. But on Friday one book arrived that was just for me—the first finished copy of SAY HER NAME! It came from Tracey, the *third* editor I’ve worked with since Disney acquired the book in 2018. It’s been quite a journey, but the book finally exists and it’s beautiful! When I first started writing poems for this collection, this definitely wasn’t what I had in mind. I’m not really a fan of bright colors so it feels a bit strange to *love* the vibrant yellow that makes this little book catch the eye. Loveis Wise struck just the right balance with their illustrations; when the poems are weighty, the artwork uplifts and adds both magic and whimsy to the page.

I had a chance to show the PDF to teens in the Brooklyn Public Library Book Match program last week. I gave 6 book talks in three days and each time I was warmly welcomed by folks I’ve worked with for years. At PS 32 in Brooklyn I shared A PLACE INSIDE OF ME for the first time and was happy to see the 3rd and 4th graders interpreting the illustrations and naming important figures from Black history. We didn’t talk about the Black Lives Matter movement but they clearly recognized that the boy was grieving for a friend or family member who had been shot. I’ll have to figure out how to talk about police brutality with kids; a librarian friend pointed out the pushback HE gets as a White man whenever he wears his BLM t-shirt around his colleagues. Our first review—starred—from doesn’t even mention that SAY HER NAME focuses on Black female victims of police violence. The reviewer’s “verdict” was complimentary and I appreciate them emphasizing that the poems are for everyone: “This collection is inspirational, uplifting, and encouraging for readers of all genders. Elliott may not think of herself as a poet, but her creativity and deft wielding of rich language prove otherwise.” But this book isn’t about me. An educator left this glorious review on my Facebook page:

I read it in one sitting & it took my breath away. This [SLJ] review doesn’t do justice to the deep significance and timeliness of your collection of verses. This book is radical. It illuminates. It uplifts. It’s hopeful even as it names the structures of violence constraining erasing negating black lives. Reading your book is a sacred experience. I’ll be sharing it widely and wisely with the youth in my life. Thank you.

That kind of assessment makes my heart soar and I hope many other readers “get it” in the same way. I also hope future reviewers notice the end pages on which Loveis listed the names of Black women killed by police in the US. This isn’t a generic book about the struggles of African Americans…

One more NYC trip and then I can end the year here at home. There are Xmas cookies to be baked and I haven’t figured out where to buy a tree…but I’ve got carols on steady rotation and did a little shopping yesterday. I thought moving to Lancaster would help me travel less but so far that hasn’t been the case. As we head into a new decade, I’m thinking about the changes I need to make now to ensure that I end next year feeling less exhausted…