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Looks like the holidays are here again. The season to shop, pig out, get drunk, cut down trees, and kill turkeys. A time to give presents to people who don’t need them. To commemorate the birth of a savior who was born in March or April, “when shepherds watched their flocks by night.” A savior that no one takes seriously the rest of the year. But it’s good for bu$ine$$, they say. And some of the music is nice, and the colored lights.

Christmas is for people with grandchildren, of course. Kids are necessary for full effect; who else would believe the lies about Santa Claus? The whole Santa scam doesn’t work without the innocent gullibility of the little ones. But where can one rent a grandchild by the day? I doubt I could afford one for more than a day. Is that what the Xmas bonus is for? I Googled “grandkids for rent” but no luck. Should I try eBay?

Of course the real reason we have Christmas in December is the wretched weather this time of year. We need a break from the dreariness of the cold and gloom. We got the idea for Christmas from the pagans who were having fun celebrating the winter solstice. And why not? Christmas must seem pointless In Australia.

So it looks like another bleak Christmas here. I doubt I’ll even put up my Christmas stocking. Why bother? And as for a Happy New Year, all bets are off here in Trumpistan!

Happy solstice everyone! Can spring be far behind?

P.S. Please be advised that I don’t
need any more neckties.