Tunnel Vision

Sometimes we can get so distracted by our own challenges and dilemmas we become blind to what others may be going through. We are go, go, go trying to solve our own problems and figure out whatever situation we are facing, so we forget life is going on for everyone. Then someone says something wrong, or takes too long to do something, or seems to not care about something we deem as important, and we wonder “What the hell is their problem? Why do they have such an attitude?”. So we get mad at them, figuring they are in the wrong.

Maybe what they are going through is no excuse for the negativity they are throwing our way, but what is our excuse for jumping to conclusions and reacting poorly to them? We asked the right question. “What is their problem.” However, we didn’t seek an answer. Why? We are so consumed with our own needs and have such tunnel vision that we fail to recognize what our friend or loved one is going through. Then the shade throwing starts, back at them, to others, and now instead of solving anything, we have created more problems.

The fact is, if it is someone we care about, then we probably have an inkling as to what they are going through. If we don’t, its because we haven’t been paying attention because of our, you guessed it, tunnel vision. So take a step back and get the answer to “Why do they have such an attitude.” Somethings might be obvious if we just think outside of ourselves for a moment.  Is it close to a date where they lost someone close to them? Is it the anniversary of the date they got married that ended in a bitter divorce? Have they been talking about work stress? Money problems? A fight they had with someone else they care about?

Do they already suffer from anxiety? Depression? Other mental health problems? Did they mention having to change meds recently? Is there a major event or deadline coming up they are nervous about, or worried that they won’t be able to get everything done in time? Are they being pulled in a million different directions? There is a reason they are responding the way they are. Care enough to take a moment to find out. Generally when someone is acting like that, it is the start of a cry for help.

Oh, but don’t forget to ask yourself all those same questions, because it is just as, if not even more important, to figure out why you are getting so pissed at them. I am willing to bet it is not all their fault. And get rid of the attitude of “We all got problems, they need to learn how to deal” Think about how upset you are at the moment. How well are you dealing?

Live, love, laugh and see the big picture my friends. Save the tunnel vision for when you are in a tunnel.