Pot And The Kettle

I don’t often watch 90 Day Fiancé, but my wife enjoys the show so I see it occasionally. One of the thing that bugs me is when one of the subjects becomes all concerned that their significant other might be using them for money/citizenship/whatever. Not that this isn’t a concern usually, but more that no one even mentions how they are also using that person.

They are going for someone younger/more attractive/less picky about social malformation/more dependent/etc. than the subject would otherwise be able to get. Talk of love and/or connection aside, and there could always be some and screw ageism/messed up body standards/and all that, there is still usually some kind of unacknowledged using of the other person to get something in a relationship that the subject couldn’t get otherwise.

Not really judging the rightness or wrongness of such a thing, but it seems wrong to worry about one using the other for money/citizenship/whatever when the using is mutual even if different in character. It seems hypocritical to only regard one of the two as a possible user. Seems like modern colonialism.