On not being able to see what’s in front of you

Picture penguins coming out of refrigerator.I was going to put a picture of a refrigerator here, but they’re super boring, really. I mean, what can you say? A fridge is a fridge. This clip art appealed. I have no idea what it means, penguins coming out a refrigerator in the arctic, but maybe that’s the other end of the dimensional vortex.



There’s a black hole somewhere in my refrigerator.





Dinner last night was a hash brown plus (grated potato with
extra ingredients made into a large flat pancake). I brought out the food
processor to grate the potato and chop the onions.





Lightbulb moment. While the food processor is out why don’t I chop the onions for the big batch of bolognese I plan to freeze? I can cook that tonight, too.





I peel the onions.





It’s late when I started, that’s why I decided on hash browns
for dinner in the first place. It’s a lot later when I finish, because I don’t use
the food processor that often, and it takes time to work out how to set it up. Then
to remember how to chop onions with it.





I fry up seemingly mountains of onion and garlic, but there’s no way I’m cooking the rest of the bolognese that night because I’ll be up till one am, and I’m exhausted already. I put it all into a container and put in in the fridge.





Next day, I take out the makings for bolognese sauce.





Except I can’t find the onion.





I know I was tired last night, but this is ridiculous. It’s not even a big fridge. I go through the fridge. I go through the freezer. I even check the cupboards, in case I was so tired I put it there instead. There is no onion.





It has disappeared into some dimensional hole. I’m sure that
one day that same vortex will spit it back out again and it’ll be right there
in front of me, where it has been all along. I just can’t see it right now.









p.s. Bolognaise or bolognese? I’m one of those who use ‘ai’, and I thought most Australians did, but I notice there’s a trend back to bolognese (which is more technically correct), so I’ve made an effort to use that here. Spell check doesn’t like it either way.

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Published on September 15, 2019 01:00
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message 1: by Amy (new)

Amy Tychell This reminds me of humorist Dave Barry's hilarious "Where's the spatula?" article. The whole business of the husband opening the drawer and looking around blankly. When the wife drags herself in to answer, we all know she'll lift the spatula out of that open drawer.

Funny. But I also like the notion of the black hole, a fridge nemesis, or even gremlins. And I am also looking forward to the 2020 release of Book 2 in Uncharted. Nice, original, sparkling work!


message 2: by S.K. (new)

S.K. Dunstall :-)
Our father was like that. He'd look all around the house for his glasses. Then Mum would say, "Where did you look first?" and she'd go to where he looked first and pick them up.


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