Surprisingly One of the Best Things You Can Do for Yourself…

I’ve been in several marathon training groups that begin meeting months before a marathon. It’s astonishing to see how a little bit of daily training takes very ordinary, often very unathletic people, and gently but steadily leads us to a place where we can start running twenty-six miles around breakfast time and finish sometime before lunch.

If
we took spiritual progress this seriously—and we should (Matt. 5:48)—what
“spiritual workout” will move us steadily and consistently toward spiritual fitness?

William
Law, a classical writer who taught the church almost three centuries ago, says
that one of the most effective workouts we could ever perform for ourselves is regularly praying for
our children’s spiritual welfare.

How
does praying for our kids help us grow?

Law
makes the sensible connection that if a parent is praying regularly for their
children’s spiritual growth, that parent is going to be compelled to excel in
the same virtues they long for their children to embrace. “How naturally would
a parent grow ashamed of lacking the very virtues he or she thinks necessary
for their children?”

Psychologically
and spiritually, when we want something for our children, it reinforces to our
own minds how important that same thing is for us. That’s why praying for our
children to grow in faith and character is one of the most effective ways of
reminding ourselves of what we need to aspire after.

Jenna
was beside herself trying to get her oldest daughter (8) to be more patient
with her younger sister. She began praying regularly that God would help her
daughter to encourage her sister rather than resent her whenever she made a
mistake. When the younger sister spilled some glitter all over the floor, the
older sister cried out, “You’re such an idiot!” There was a moment of painful
spiritual revelation when Jenna realized her daughter was repeating verbatim what she had heard Jenna say of
another driver who cut in front them on their morning trip to school. With
sincere conviction, Jenna realized she was praying for her daughter to stop
being like…her mom. It’s not a surprise that Jenna began praying for more
patience for herself whenever she got into the car with her children.   

Another
benefit of regular intercessory prayer for our children is that when we
earnestly call upon God to show favor to our children, it naturally makes us
want to maintain a clean heart before God. William Law writes, “If a father
considered himself as an intercessor with God for his children to bless them
with his prayers, what more likely means to make him aspire after every degree
of holiness that he might thereby be fitter to obtain blessings from heaven for
them? How would such thoughts make him avoid everything that was sinful and
displeasing to God, lest when he prayed for his children God should reject his
prayers?”

James
5:16 tells us that “the prayer of a righteous person is very powerful in its
effect.” So if I want to be spiritually “fit” to be an effective intercessor
for my children, I’m going to watch my life, in the same way someone training
for a marathon might think twice about having that second helping of ice cream. 

The
third thing regularly praying for our children accomplishes is that a life of intentional praying inspires a
life of more intentional training. If we pray to God that he will work in
our children’s hearts, we’re going to want to become his assistant, a partial
answer to our own prayers. For example, if we pray that God will move them to
value eternal things, we’re less likely to fall into affirming worldly
achievements. If I ask God to give my children hearts of purity, I’m not going
to bring impure shows into my home, which would undercut my prayers. If I ask
God to make my children love kindness, I’m going to think up ways for them to
use Christmas, as an example, to display kindness to others rather than just
focus on their own wish lists. If I pray they will hunger for God’s Word, I’m
going to scour bookstores for Bibles and helps that make the Bible come alive
to my young children.  

All
of these benefits begin with praying
for our children: earnestly, passionately, and persistently. Because of God’s
kindness, these prayers will surely bless our children. The surprising news,
according to William Law, is that they will bless us—the parents who pray—just as
much.

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