A Funeral, how nice. The "Sheriff"

How does one sum up the experience of a funeral?
I attended a funeral yesterday. I was a little uneasy about the event and of course that is my own selfish take on it. An older man whom I had feelings for in many different stages of my life. A man of great whit and humour. A man who has known me since the day I was born. A man who is the father of some of my life long friends. No, not just friends, friends of my family and of mine since when I was a toddler. I had mixed emotions around the occasion indeed.

I have not been to a funeral in a little over 5 years. Believe it or not and yes it sounds funny to hear myself say it, "I had given up funerals". Like when we say I gave up chocolate for lent, or how we give anything up in our life. Well, I gave up going to funerals. The simple fact of the matter is that I have had too many horrific ones in my own very near and dear to me life. I have had to bury two of my children, hence my first book title "Two sons Too many".

What I can say is that the experience of the funeral yesterday was quite nice. It was beautiful even. Perhaps because my own emotions were not as heavily involved as they have been in my previous experiences. However this is my friends dad and a well known character around our community and beyond. So what was so "beautiful"?

I believe in the concept of celebrating the life of a person and enjoying all the nice things about them in our memories on such a day that we bury them. It is a celebration after all when someone who was beginning on a path of illness and suffering, the celebration obviously that they do not have to enter into deep suffering and their death is the end of their pain. This is a nice thing to be a part of, it sucks of course that we will never see him again in the way we have become used to seeing him and so I will miss him just as all who loved him so much will. But what celebrate? Like as if we should say, "yay let's throw a party and celebrate that we will never see him again" sounds screwed up, doesn't it? I guess the day had a very nice flow to it and from beginning to end it was a peaceful day with all who knew this man having a smile on their face when they thought of him.
Don't get me wrong it is not that the man I speak of was like Saint Patrick or something and everybody had a smile of beauty of the religious kind or anything like that. The smiles were for his charm and his whit and how those who love him and those who know him had thoughts of his words and how he would be making them laugh any time he would speak.
Can I say his "family did him proud" of course but it is almost cliche like, to use such a few words to describe the day. I as I have mentioned made a point not to attend funerals for 5 years due to how I was grieving for my children and now the day came where it was my turn to support my friends on their day in life where we all come to at some stage. To bury your father. Not an easy thing by any means, so I can say not that they did him proud, they should all rightfully so be very proud as from the funeral home to the church, the graveyard to an after party gathering. All were as nice as each other and the flow was smooth, the day was a beautiful day and enjoyable. Not for mourning and not for the thoughts of loss. For the thoughts of life ahead and the support network that exists around the family. I met with old friends and made some new ones. Faces in the crowd I have not seen for so long and others I wish to see more of. When I turned around they were gone and I didn't get a chance to say this or say that.

Ya know when ya have a feeling about something and you just at the immediate moment cannot put your finger on it. The feeling of I know how this feels and it all makes sense and with only a look from another, the feeling is confirmed because you can see others around you having the exact same clarity at the exact same time. This makes for a beautiful day when we all came together to share a space and a time for the exact same reason. This can begin a glow of beauty to it. Among friends and family where we all knew why we were there, we all knew it is this man's life and the fact he existed is how we have all become so intertwined and so close. He deserves very much our thoughts and for such a gathering to be so enjoyable and beautiful.

The support and the love was shown by all, the fun and banter enjoyed by all, the network and friendships brought together on a day that the "Sheriff" headed on out of town. I in my selfish world was very touched to share in and enjoy this funeral.
Thanks Sheriff.