Guest Post: I Found God

by Taylor Rosecrans

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Acts 17 “That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us: For in him we live, and move, and have our being.”

—

I came looking for God in the pews.

Listening to authorities, their words circled around me, taking my breath as they came tighter and tighter.

I escaped and cried, God, is that you?

I found Him in the community of women who shared my hurt.

I went looking for God in the Holy Place.

My mind and my heart were lost, looking for the feminine, looking for myself.

I went home.

I found Her on my knees.

I looked for God in the symbols meant to comfort and protect.

They felt shallow. They felt restrictive.

Was God there?

I found Them in my heart.

I listened for God in words of a leader.

Anger grew in my throat.

I found God in my tears.

I searched for God in words I was told were His.

They danced above my head.

I reached, but they wouldn’t stick.

I found God’s Son in a new translation.

I went to find God in a mortal.

The words I looked for in his lips didn’t come.

My daughter cried out. I pulled her in.

I looked down and I found God in her smile.

I know where to find God now.

She is in my hands when I love.

He is in my soul when I pray.

I found God in a breath, in a step, in a thought.

I found God

in myself.

He is. They are.

I AM.

Taylor Rosecrans: A Non-traditional Mormon Woman. A Doctoral Student in Business. A Midwestern Mother of One.