The Easiest Way to Make a Sad Desk Lunch Less Sad

Sushi is the best desk lunch to have delivered. I know this to be true with the conviction of a tap dancer on wood because I have dined at my desk nearly every day for the greater sum of the last decade and in my experience, ordering sushi has allowed for enough autonomy to select a parade of choices (spicy and not!) if that is your desire and it’s pretty unlikely that it will arrive defected. It’s also not meant to be served hot, so you needn’t consider the temperature to the same degree you might for like, a slice of grilled fish or tajine.

Bagels make a strong case for a smooth delivery too. It’s just a fat sandwich with smear in the middle. Eggs are probably the worst as they relate to optimal temperature and deliverability unless you’re ordering them hard-boiled, in which case I invite you to revisit this reminder that you’re insane.

Salad gets weird; the dressing is often delivered on the side. Sometimes it spills but even when it doesn’t, mixing it into your meal within the parameters of the tiny box or bowl is a futile, awkward pursuit akin to attempting a sun salutation in a packed subway car. For whatever reason, the lettuce seems to wilt on its way over, like aging skin baking under the sun. In that way, they represent a more cynical truth —  that a desk lunch is a sad lunch.

Sure, you can go out and pick up your sustenance—ask them to dress the edible outfit, request substitutions from a living human, but when push comes to shove, or line comes to close, or lunch comes to desk, there you are with the inevitable truth that you’re eating a meal by your lonesome at work.