I Asked 16 Creative Geniuses for Unexpected Wedding Planning Tips

A wedding is one big convention composed of a hundred small conventions: centerpieces, family portraits, wedding dresses, flowers and bouquets, rings and suits, makeup, hashtags, photo booths, registries, invitations, cakes, wine, hors d’oeuvres, and dinner, to name a few. How can a couple in the midst of wedding-planning steel themselves against a day that can skew dated, formulaic, and at times impersonal?

Audrey Gelman’s nuptials were the first I ever digitally browsed that felt as if the various conventions had been co-opted and customized to her, rather than vice versa. By mixing the traditional with the eclectic and displaying a firm sense of aesthetic self-awareness, elements of the wedding looked like none I’d ever seen before: Gelman’s bridesmaids wore bespoke J. Crew, her invitations (designed by a friend) hinted at the future of The Wing’s distinct brand identity, and her dress complemented her tattoos rather than hiding them.

Wondering about how best to subvert and improve tired traditions, I asked 16 imaginative minds how they would, or did, put a spin on the customary run-of-show. This group of food stylists, boutique owners, sommeliers, editors, designers, and cartoonists proved that limitations often encourage optimum creativity.

On Getting Dressed

Ruby Redstone, Writer, Stylist, & Art Historian 

“I think I had the easiest wedding-dress shopping experience ever: I tried on a single dress at Dover Street Market, and I ordered it in white the next day. Part of this is due to the fact that before I went out hunting in the wild, I approximated roughly what I would want: something true to my love of Victorian clothing, big sleeves, enough room to show off some accessories, and short! I tried not to put too much pressure on myself to think ‘WEDDING’ and instead put together an outfit that just made me feel beautifully and quintessentially myself. There’s really no such thing as a timeless dress—in a couple decades, some aspect of whatever you choose to wear will look dated. Focus instead on what will make you feel happy and confident on the big day, because that’s when you’ll actually be wearing it! Also, others have certainly said this before but: Ready-to-wear designer dresses in white or pastel colors tend to be much less expensive and much more stylish than anything available at designated bridal stores.”

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*visits @newyorkjosie once*

A post shared by RUBY REDSTONE (@rubyredstone) on Mar 14, 2019 at 4:14pm PDT

Diana Kim, Owner, Stand Up Comedy

“Neither of us could commit to a ring design in the traditional timeline (i.e., pre-marriage)—lifetime interpersonal commitment, yes! Lifetime commitment to jewelry representing that lifetime commitment? No! We opted for custom lockets by Arielle de Pinto instead. Each held a photo of the other, plus another image that felt representative of our relationship in our own way. Later, we each swapped out for a pic of our daughter. We are now, at close to 10 years, about to dive in to the rings, which will be made by Quarry.

I wanted to get my husband a wedding gift, so I commissioned one of our best friends, the artist Aaron Flint Jamison, to make a piece of furniture. It turned out to be a small vitrine, so that my husband can display different artifacts or sketch out ideas for exhibition in a very intimate way. The night I presented it to him, I woke up to find him alone in the living room just staring at it. One of my best memories.”

Liana Finck, Cartoonist

On the Open Bar

Helen Johannesen of Helen’s Wines, Beverage Director for Joint Ventures Restaurant Group 

“We do Helen’s interactive wine bars at weddings all the time: the wedding has two bars but wine and booze are separate, which allows guests to choose from 6-8 different wines including orange wine, pet nats, champagne… ranging from the usual to the unique, instead of being trapped with the typical tableside, shitty red or white. Good wine doesn’t have to be expensive.

At the end of the wedding, bust out a Sicilian tradition: serve everyone Spaghettata, pour magnums of a chilled light red, and then tell everyone to get the fuck out.”

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@meinklang_farm & WENZEL @animalrestaurant ! Schnitzel is here too