Swimwear Forecast: Cloudy With a Chance of Perfect Pool Hangs

You text your group thread. You mark your calendar. You fantasize about what swimsuit to bring. That one. No! THIS one, the one that makes you feel like doing cartwheels under water. You get a pedicure, not because anyone will care how your toes look–but because you’ve wanted to try out a particular lime green polish since January. You glance down at your freshly lime-greened toes and notice the little hairs on your legs. You decide not to shave because you like how it feels, that soft prickle, when your run your hands down your shins. You purchase a flamingo float, and yes, you know Instagram has somewhat quashed their special allure, and yes, you know they are cliché, but what is life if not an opportunity to be somewhat cliché? Especially for your inaugural pool day of summer 2019.

Then, the night before, you check the weather. Overcast. Foggy. Humid. Rainy. Not a speck of sun. The group thread is blowing up:

S.O.S.

This sucks!

Whyyyyyyyy

Did u guys know it’s physically impossible to lick your elbow?

HOW IS THIS JUNE WEATHER

We should reschedule, right?