Begging the question and you must ask it.

This isyour duty. If you shirk this responsibility, you contribute to humanity's absurdity.When you see something obviously seeking attention, you must ask the sillyquestion it desires. Also, you must ask this question with a hint of sarcasm—nottoo much or you'll spoil the fun.
Forexample, I needed some drinking dollars the other day so I drove to the ATM.While I was waiting in line, a tennis pro drove up in a white convertible Lamborghini.She did three laps around the bank before parking (crooked, I might add) in aspace adjacent to my black scrap worth less than one-tenth of her beast.
I had toask, "Does your car go fast?"
Shelooked at me, semi-confused. I maintained a straight face. I watched her fancy wheelsturn as her expression changed with her thoughts:Is he retarded?Maybe he likes cars.Ew, this creepy freak is going toask me for a ride.This could be some asinineattempt to hit on me.He might be autistic.Oh, shit. He just grinned. He's totallyfucking with me.
Sheplayed along and answered, "Yes, very fast."
I wasborderline mean and borderline kind; it all depends on how she took it. I waseither suggesting she's an attention whore or delivering the compliment she sought.
When you'rewatching life's circus today, look for opportunities to use this method. Hereare some obvious ones:When you see a woman walking twoor more dogs, ask her, "Dogs are so much easier to care for than men, aren'tthey?"If someone has lost a lot ofweight and they insist on preaching about it, ask, "Is it AIDS, cancer, or areyou counting carbs?"When you approach a professionalathlete who is signing autographs, ask, "Do you work here?"After a stripper delivers awonderful lap dance, say, "I bet you have lots of sex, huh?"While attending a sporting event nextto an obnoxious fan wearing a team jersey, ask, "What position do you play?"When you're at one of those fancybrewpubs with dozens of taps behind the bar, ask the bartender if she knows of anygood bars around that serve beer.If an extra-large man in a mediumT-shirt is nearby, ask, "Do you work out?"When a mother/daughter combo isseated at the bar, ask the daughter, "Is this your sister? Wow. She shouldstart wearing sunscreen."When someone wants you to guessher age and is proud because you guessed too low, say, "Wow, where do you getyour Botox?"If a Persian dude parks in frontof the bar and repeatedly checks his Maserati, unless he's armed, ask, "I betthat car gets you loads of pussy, doesn't it?"Ask any tall dude, "Can you dunk?"When a cougar has thick, luscioushair, ask, "Does that thing strapped to the back of your head bite?"When a woman's cleavage is inappropriatefor the function, ask, "Where'd you get those?"If Susie has just made hertwentieth Facebook status post of the day, comment, "Are you bored, lonely, or startingto realize how insignificant you are?"When a man sends you a topless or(horrors!) bottomless photo, ask, "Do you mind if I share this with mytherapist?"Ask any tiny chick, "Have youever actually spun on a penis?"Ask any tiny fellow, "What do youdo to make up for your petite stature?"When you see a grocery checkoutclerk in his forties, ask, "How's that real estate license working out for you?"When a man parks in front of thebar in his Harley and revs the engine before killing it, ask, "Couldn't afforda Corvette?"If a man in a paisley button-down,wearing square tipped shoes offers to buy you a drink, ask, "Do you subscribeto Details or GQ? Where's your boyfriend?"