A Review of Invasion Not Imminent

Coley Portions is a good mate of mine who I’ve known for many years. He’s the original “indie artist”. Musician. Writer. Poet. Comedy writer and performer. Children’s author. Visual Artist. Doodler. Circus skills performer. Costume-wearer. The list goes on. Anyone who’s ever known Coley will tell you he’s the most creative person they’ve ever met.

Although some of his work has been floating around on YouTube and other online platforms for a while, it is only recently that he’s started to add his immense back catalogue of albums, artworks, writings etc. to this ‘ere interweb thingy. Hopefully that means more and more people will start to find out about the genius of Coley Portions. Starting with this ‘ere book!

So… on to the book: “Invasion Not Imminent”; Coley Portions' first official book release. What is this book? Quite simply, it’s a book of doodles, drawings and poems from Coley’s many sketchbooks. All of which contain a good dose of Coley’s unmistakable humour. If I had to liken the works in this book to well-known names, I guess it would be a combination of Vic Reeves, Noel Fielding, Ted Chippington, Spike Milligan and Tim Vine (“Who?” ask the non-Brits reading this review), but above all, Coley Portions is doing his own thing. As he always has and always will.

In “Invasion Not Imminent” you will find a drawing of some grave stones, each one engraved with names and dates like: “Beryl Patel: 1905 – 2006” and “Beryl Chopra: 1900 – 2008”. You’ll then read the caption underneath that says: “Ancient Indian Beryl Site.”

In “Invasion Not Imminent” you will find a drawing captioned “Misheard L.P. Titles”. The drawing displays an Oat Cake Commuter.

In “Invasion Not Imminent” you will find poems about Coley’s favourite cup, “why did the dodo die dad?”, a “grotty, mottled bottle (that) was spotted bobbling by a yacht” and gardening with Socrates and The Fonz.

You’ll also find a retaliation against Comic Sans font snobbery, a badger on a ladder, Jesus walking on the warthog and Bellender Carlisle. I guarantee you this book will have you smiling from start to finish.

This book is only available as a handmade copy from Coley Portions himself. Get a copy here: https://coleyportions.wordpress.com/d...

Check out Coley Portions’ new album “All Those Ghastly Cavities” here: https://coleyportions1.bandcamp.com/a...

And if you’re in the UK and happen to be going to Blyth Power Festival this year (2019), then be sure to check out Coley’s gig.

Oh, and one more thing. Be sure to check out John Cooper Clarke reading Coley Portions' poem “Politicow” here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yK_il...

(Yes, when Coley met John Cooper Clarke last year, he had the audacity to ask Cooper Clarke to read his poem! Me? Jealous? Nah…)