Filing Jointly — a tax crime poem for 30 Days of The 5-2

Filing Jointly

No matter what the Fed says,

we always put the tax deadline

in the calendar on the 14th

so it sounds like a Valentine’s Day

date to review our year in April.

This year is special

because I am doing it alone,

remembering him, accounting for his actions,

and mine, itemizing all the entries.

It’s an emotional audit.

I tear up as I write off

the axe I’d hit him with,

along with all the other tools

I used afterward

as “business expenses”;

and I smile when I enter

the checks I received

from his life insurance —

far more than I ever earned

as his secretarial spouse.

But the real payoff

gushes from deducting

his medical expenses.

I think of him suffering

in the hospital

for a month afterward —

unable to talk without a tongue

or write without a hand,

or even ask for help,

let alone know he needed it,

with only half a brain left

in his cracked skull.

I laugh when I calculate my refund,

wondering if his gold-digging mistress

is itemizing all his gifts as income,

and if I should invest myself

in another relationship.

I didn’t do it for all this stupid money,

but thanks for the Valentine’s gifts, honey.

*****

ABOUT:
This poem is my contribution to “30 Days of the 5-2” — a special guest blogging marathon, with a new poem or article posted each day of April in celebration of National Poetry Month.

The 5-2 Crime Poetry Journal is a wonderful place to find your out-of-the-ordinary poetry. I’ve appeared in it several times in the past, with everything from poetry recitations to criticism to interviews. Check them out and if you support their ebooks, editor Gerald So will contribute the income to Academy of American Poets this month.