Herding Cats

This is our first Christmas with cats, and it brings with it new sights, new opportunities, and yes, new disasters.  Cat's love Christmas trees.  Did you know that?  I didn't know that.  We have a fake tree.  It's pre-lighted, assembled in three pieces, and we bought it at a grocery story.  Doesn't get more "Made in China" than that, but to the cats, it's like unchartered wilderness.  They climb up the center pole (probably coated in timberline green lead paint), and get all excited.  I don't have the heart to tell them that it's fake, it's like telling your kid there is no Santa.  It just isn't done.

And then there's the ornaments.  We got smart about that.  No breakables.  Plastic only, and the good stuff goes up at the top.  I held off on the star because that is pretty irreplacable, so I wanted to see if the kitties would topple over the tree (happened to our neighbor with their cat) before I put it up.  I still haven't put it up.  I think it's like putting up a lightning rod in a storm.  It's going to get burned.

I have no ideas about the presents.  Our family shakes, sniffs, pokes, and x-rays for presents (except for me, who actually has patience), but I fear the cats are going to rip, claw, and bat across the room, and will that might work with say, a gift-wrapped basketball, it won't work for a cashmere sweater.

Any ideas on cat-proofing the holiday home?  Am I doomed?  What's the plans for this weekend?  I bet that Julia London is out goofing off again.

 

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