And Lo, Jesus Said WTF Bruh!?

I posted the meme over there to the right -->
A “friend” posted the following (and yes, he’s serious):
Jesus used fish that was freely donated. Not taxpayer fish. But better then that, as a small businessman (carpenter) from a rural town, you know he voted Republican.
Ooops.  Unfortunately, I was raised Catholic in Utah, went to Catholic elementary school, and at one point, I even considered becoming a priest. I've read plenty of scripture in my time. Here's my response:
Nice try. But no,...