Getting Serious 3

Moving right along...

I've undone my undoing and have a handle on this manuscript, Dead Heroes. I think I'll have the revision finished (or close to) by Dec 1.

One thing I've done is follow my own oft-given advice and developed a one-line pitch and a precis. They aren't perfect, by a long shot, but by synthesizing my story idea into brief wordage, I can see what is (and isn't) important in the story and maintain a better focus. Here is the shortest.

Generations of government duplicity concerning genetic manipulation have led to segregation and brought a pantheistic culture to the brink of civil war.

That's for the old "Give someone an idea before the elevator door closes" pitch. Then there's this one with a bit more information:

The elite ruling class of New Esrii comes under attack by expatriates and dissident citizenry. It is up to a few citizens to sacrifice everything for the good of the whole. Can they do it? And, as a rogue star threatens to wipe New Esrii off the star map, will their actions be for naught?

(FEEDBACK DESIRED!!)

I need to write a longer blurb that will get my main characters mentioned. I originally worried that I might have too many main characters. First is Nathan, troubled by the prejudice he feels around him and by a possible mind disorder; Sinoa Belkin is the only person he can relate to, but she is the daughter of a leading official, Zaya Glen--a possible enemy. Zaya, part of a powerful secret organization, is troubled by the direction she sees this group taking; her decisions are vital to the story. Then there's Fleet Commander Gerren Deece, trying to fathom his mission and the mysterious events that plague it. I also present the story from the viewpoint of Sinoa's brother, Rendel and one of Nathan's tutors, Commander Benjmin York

Many books I have read in the past year or so have multiple points of view. It's not something I like to do. Once I get beyond three (two, for me, has always been optimum) I begin to worry. This worry is one reason I've had trouble with this manuscript. I'm now convinced the story can't be effectively told without all these character POVs. I'm keeping them well blocked--no head hopping--and I'm making it work.