DEAR SCOTT DICKENSHEETS . . . FIVE RANDOM THOUGHTS FROM THE AUTHOR OF 'HORSE LATITUDES'

Dear Scott --

Just picked up the 9/17 issue of Las Vegas Weekly. Now that the blood has finally stopped shooting out of my ears, thought I'd share a few thoughts with you . . .

1) Did David Berke really refer to Jay Mcinerney as a "Titan of American lit" ??? WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Comparing a rack of double Ds to a claymore? (Tell Dave to check out my blog post "Barf Bag Included.") Someone should take a soldering iron to Mcinerney's testicles.

2) Kudos for the Kanye West bit on your front cover. Kanye really broke the douchebag mold with his outburst at the MTV Video Music Awards -- stealing the spotlight from a 17 year old girl. He should have lunch with Andy Dick.

3) Your magazine rocks!!! Reminds me of a cross between National Lampoon and The Village Voice. You're a god Scott!!! (Enough ass-kissing.)

4) The Xanax isn't working.

5) Hey, issat a copy of 'Horse Latitudes' in that pile of books in the Rick Lax photo on page 18? (I think so!)

P.S. -- Keep up the good work. I hope you get toe fungus -- Quinn