Into the Newness

Have you ever had a friend or family member whose need to please others made him or her manipulative? When someone we love tries to draw us into a scheme rooted in his or her own insecurity, sometimes our first instinct is compassion – or tolerant annoyance – or irked humor. But it’s hard to say “no” to loved ones.

Why? Because we have a deep-rooted need to please also – a desperate desire for love and affirmation even at unbalanced personal cost. See how the Law of Attraction has brought us friends and associates who hold up mirrors to our own weakness?

So, when family or friends attempt to impose another person, situation, work, or responsibility on you and it doesn’t feel right, take a deep breath and consider a few things.

1. We hurt each other out of our own brokenness. What is the motive behind the request/command/pleading? I suggest it’s fear of inadequacy. Fill in the blank with I’m not good enough. I need help with this because___________. If I can’t satisfy everybody ___________. Don’t let anyone find out ___________. If I turn this project down it signals ___________.

2. Real love shows respect. Don’t hesitate to step up and respect yourself when others fall short. When they're jeopardizing relationships out of desperation or inappropriate guilt, they're not loving themselves either.

3. Getting angry is okay, but be quick to forgive. Include yourself in that forgiveness, because you wouldn’t even be struggling with the decision if you weren’t coming from your own place of weakness.

Since we have attracted those with a similar resonance, we should examine these challenges for growth lessons. Wanting to please a loved one, I recently overrode my intuition, stated desire, and a Spirit Guide emphatically shaking her head. I paid the price but managed to also get my money’s worth!

Busy, stubborn, lost focus, expediency – there are lots of reasons why we don’t acknowledge our inner guidance systems or hear Divine direction. Ultimately experiencing self-betrayal – because I coulda/shoulda/woulda said NO – I also experienced God’s rescue. Suffering physical and emotional consequences of my “good-natured” acquiescence, I was lifted up on the third day.

Seventy-two hours after my misguided decision, I experienced the direct intervention of Christ. I was given another chance to thrive by living my truth and His. So sometimes, our loved ones come bearing the gifts we most need, disguised in thorny packaging.

As I was released from pain, my hyle, psyche, and pneuma were in alignment – the body, mind/emotion complex, and eternal spirit. The smoke of daily life and social politics cleared, revealing a fork in the road. A new path diverged out of the old and I was diverting onto the new way.

I recently entered the Crone or Wisewoman stage of my life and have had strong urgings from my past monastic lives. I wanted to rededicate my life to God the Pleuroma and the Christ. But how to return to the cloister in this lifetime as a married spiritual eclectic?

The Daily Word yesterday said, in part: “Letting go and letting God means surrendering my human identification and turning control over to my true, divine nature. When I let go of the need for recognition or approval, feelings of love and self-worth fill me. I open the way for spiritual ideas to flow forth to bless, inspire, and prosper me.” (Daily Word, A Unity Publication, Vol. 156. No. 6, page 56)

Letting go of the need to please, allowing the Godself to say “no” through our intuition, allows the loving inflow of Spirit to direct our lives. I’ve always approached my writing and energy work as a ministry to the Light. Here is a new emphasis on also honoring the Light within me by using discernment, making the choices my spirit/pneuma dictates. Isn’t this a way of permitting God to answer our prayers?

This has been a year of exposure, facing harsh truths, seeing below the surface and being shaken. My life and work are taking new directions as 2019 dawns. Paradigms are shifting for all of us.

Take up your part in this evolving consciousness: Self-examination, recognizing ourselves in others, and learning to respond with strength, integrity, and love. When we heal ourselves, we heal the world. When we honor and love the Truth within us, we do the same for the Source from which we came.
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Elizabeth Eiler is a metaphysician and spiritual teacher sharing contemporary inspiration and insight through her writing. Explore Books by Elizabeth Eiler