Life Lessons

I listen to a podcast on my commute called Max Out with Ed Mylett. One thing that Ed has said a few times on the show has really struck a chord with me. When talking to different guests who have been through trials, he says, “Things don’t happen to you, they happen FOR you.”

Many times in life we go through trials and can throw up our hands and say, “Why is God doing this to me?” I know I’ve said it at least a couple of times with my mother. My mother has had dementia for around 10 years. If you’ve never dealt with the disease, you’re one of the lucky ones.

It would be easy for me to say that this disease happened to her or happened to me. Instead, I have to say it happened FOR me. How is this? Well, I’m still discovering the reasons everyday. One thing it has taught me is to love, even when you might not be loved back. Sure, I know my mom loves me deep down, but it is difficult to remember when I’m bringing her back to the nursing home and she has new choice words to throw at me that she’s never used in her life.

When you are in the throes of something, like I am with my mother’s disease, it is hard to look at things this way. Normally, I discover these things much later. Breaking up with a boyfriend, losing a job, and getting a rejection on a manuscript seem devastating at the time, but have you ever looked back and said, “I’m really glad that didn’t happen.” It’s kind of like Garth Brooks line in his song Unanswered Prayers-“Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.” Not that they’re not answered, He just says no.

I also wonder about things happening for me in my writing career. In ways I feel guilty because I write secular fiction. But how can God create in you a passion for something you’re not meant to be doing? I feel alive when I’m writing. I also think about all the things that happened FOR me with my stories. Ten years ago, when I wrote Ruby Slips and Poker Chips and The Weaver I really don’t think it was my time to publish. My manuscript for The Weaver, which is much different now than it was back then was rejected by an agent in New York. 

The placeholder for my upcoming book The Weaver.

Check out The Weaver on Goodreads.

A year ago this July, I happened to see an ad on Facebook for a writing contest. We were leaving on a trip to Europe, so I decided to quickly enter a chapter from Ruby Slips. On the second to last day of our three week trip, I received an email from author, Dan Alatorre. He raved about my chapter and offered critiques. While I had others read my writing before, it was the first time hearing feedback from someone who was a total stranger to me. I remember praying, “If I can only win this contest, it will make a huge difference in my writing career.”

My friend Scott makes an incredible book model.

Check out Ruby Slips and Poker Chips: The Modern Tale of Dorothy Gale on Amazon.

Things happen FOR you, not to you.

The more I throw myself into my writing, the more things have happened FOR me. It’s amazing how that works. When I write, I create stories where good triumphs over evil and characters have the chance to be redeemed. My beliefs shine through my writing. Now I feel better about what I write and why I write it. It reveals my heart to my readers and lets them go on an incredible journey. 

Others take photographs, perform heart surgeries, or sing beautiful sonatas. I write. It’s one of the things God created me to do. And I believe that everything that happens in my writing career happens FOR me, not to me–the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

Do you believe that things happen for you and not to you? Let me know in the comment section below. I’d also love to have you as a follower! Please subscribe.

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