Guest Post: “Also Not Inclined to Take Any Action”

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By LMA

In September, the non-profit organization MormonLeaks released a document created by the law firm that represents our Church in many of its legal cases. The document detailed seven cases of sexual abuse the firm was responsible for in the year 2012.

One of the cases detailed a missionary that in their words was “accused” of sexually abusing an eight-year-old child in their mission area outside of the United States. The document detailed the current legal outcome of the issue. In addition to no note indicating the authorities were contacted, the law firm specified the disciplinary council in the mission decided “no action would be taken” and that the missionary’s home stake president was “also not inclined to take any action.” They further specified, “leaders were working with the victim’s family.” Despite indicating the missionary had been “accused” of the sexual abuse, their use of the term “victim” indicates the missionary did sexually abuse this child. We do not know if the eight-year-old child referred to was female, but we do know it was a male missionary. Even more tragic is that not one, but two, church disciplinary bodies with authority to carry out spiritual consequences actively chose not to take action on this child’s behalf.

The lack of basic care and compassion displayed by these statements is both stunning and tragic. I started to cry in the Target parking lot when I read it.

“Also not inclined to take any action.”

When will anyone in a position of spiritual authority be inclined to take any action?

As an institution that so frequently defines itself as being an institution that literally and symbolically represents Jesus Christ, it is despicable to assume it does not have legal, moral, and ethical responsibility to hold those accountable who perpetuate these abuses within the context of our faith. Any Church member who chooses to harm, abuse, or traumatize another person in any form or place should not be in good standing in the Church, period. Any Church member who chooses to harm, abuse, or traumatize another person should experience tangible, accountability-driven spiritual consequences (e.g., not being allowed to have the priesthood) and pragmatic consequences (e.g., not allowing the perpetrator to be near the victim at Church) that reflect the seriousness of these crimes, and communicate care and support and safety for victims, not those who victimize. 

I teach child development classes to university students. This semester, I am teaching an all-female class on contemporary issues in the family unit. In our class, we discussed the construct of emotional labor (i.e., gendered expressions of what women and those who identify as feminine are expected to do, almost always without pay or recognition, and commonly on behalf of boys and men). The research in this area demonstrates young girls (but not boys) are taught from a very early age to be responsible for household and caregiving tasks as their mothers manage multiple demands (e.g., career, household work, managing childcare). This is even more often the case in families that experience economic difficulties. In these circumstances, eldest daughters are often forced to take on essential household and family roles they are not developmentally ready for, often at the risk of their own emotional, social, and educational opportunities and needs.

In our society and in our faith, we teach young girls and other vulnerable people (e.g., LGTBQ+ people) from a very young age that they are responsible to perform extensive emotional labor on behalf of others. They are taught to do labor that is not required of their brothers, fathers, uncles, grandfathers, and priesthood leaders. We teach them they must be good and clean and helpful while managing this labor. I could just cry thinking about how sad and not okay this is.

I have so many questions:

When will this stop?

When will men and others who violate the trust and innocence of children, women, and vulnerable people be accountable?

When will anyone with the power to make real changes in our Church be inclined to take any action?

When will we stop forcing girls, women, and other vulnerable people to take on the emotional labor of managing trauma perpetuated on them by others?

I cannot communicate how distressing this is. I have cried and cried and cried and spent so much time trying to understand how this could happen, and what can make it stop. Many of the men I have seen who hurt others in the name of “priesthood” and being a “man” have not spent one second of their lives doing this. As a result, I do not have a great deal of faith in the patriarchal institution our Church continues to support and enable. I have experienced different forms of these abuses in my own life, and documents such as this re-traumatize and reinforce over and over and over that those we are in intimate contact with will not keep us safe, including in many cases, our faith.

At this point, men who have not directly seen abuse or trauma happen to others are still complicit in these unspeakable acts. I understand many men are enacting behaviors and ideas of masculinity and priesthood that they were taught. However, regardless of the source of these behaviors and ideas, it is time for men in our faith—both institutional leaders and lay members—to take ownership for these wrongs and to be active participants in listening to women and children and other vulnerable people who are affected by the damning and damaging patriarchy so many in our faith live under.

In this profound pain, I do have faith in women and sisterhood and the ways women have and will protect each other, especially when no one else will. Heavenly Mother, our earthly mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, friends, mentors, even social media followers—we all belong to each other, and we will all work to keep each other safe.

I keep reminding myself of this lovely poem by Nikita Gill:

Secret Language

We have always felt so unsafe in this world

Like soldiers, always on the alert

A secret language between us women

Are you safe?

Have you reached home?

Did anyone follow you?

Because we have come to understand

that no one else is going to protect us but each other.

And this bond of sisterhood is so sacred

I hope it one day destroys

the idea that women are competition for each other.

Instead enforces

how much

we belong in

our fierceness for each other.

 

LMA is PhD-holding boss lady that teaches child development to university students. She cares deeply about issues that affect women inside and outside of our Church.