"That's so OCD" and other phrases we loathe...
I recently had the opportunity to guest post for the popular blog "The Modern Mama Memoirs" about the difficult realities of OCD. My blog is re-posted here.
One of the taboo phrases in our house is “That’s so OCD.” We hear it so much in schools, offices, and other public spaces. It’s become part of our common parlance—when someone checks several times to make sure the car door is locked, when someone washes their hands religiously before and after every meal, and when someone is generally too nit-picky or anal. But OCD is more than a phrase or an insult, it is a disorder we think we know because we see it in film and television. Jack Nicholson in “As Good as it Gets;” Tony Shalhoub in “Monk;” and Jayma Mays in “Glee”. While Hollywood may have good intentions, it often focuses on the quirky behaviors (compulsions) OCD causes without addressing the real internal torture and obsessions that a person with OCD experiences.
It is difficult to really understand this internal torture unless you’ve experienced it first hand. Unfortunately, it is something my family knows all too well. One of my loved ones had always been picky and precise. We noticed it getting much worse, and eventually a chain of life-altering events ignited the long-latent OCD. The psychologist described the OCD as “conflagration” and we watched the disease consume one of our dearest family members, making it nearly impossible for this loved one to enjoy life.
The psychologist and psychiatrist informed us that if there was a chance of recovering from the OCD, it would have to be through the combination of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and medication. Both of these options seemed frightening, but it was more frightening watching the deterioration of someone so dear to us. Cognitive Behavior Therapy with its rigid “tough love” system of rewards and punishments seemed so archaic, but it was…and still is…the only therapy that has been proven successful in treating OCD. It is also called ERP which stands for Exposure and Response Therapy. We learned the hard way that OCD was not funny at all; it was internal torture. For the sufferer of OCD, it is as if there is an internal voice that compels destructive behaviors based on irrational obsessions to alleviate intense anxiety. The person with OCD knows these obsessions and compulsions are irrational but is gripped by the internal voice and its illusory promise of relief.
It requires exposing the person with OCD to what they are most anxious about so that they can prove to themselves and their internal OCD voice that they can tolerate the anxiety and that their fallacious assumption that world is coming to an end is not true. Thus for the OCD who is checker and cannot leave the house because she is afraid she left the burners on, she will have to gradually be forced to leave her house with the burners on. The OCD germaphobe may be forced to eat food from the floor.
CBT/ ERP is very painful for the person with OCD, forcing them to confront what they are most afraid of and what gives them short-term comfort (although like most addictions, it never lasts and they always need more). CBT/ ERP, however, is the only proven treatment that works and it can be more effective if coupled with medication. Our loved one got the help they needed and within just a few months the condition was dramatically improved. Everyone called it a miracle, but for the OCD community, it was a matter of course. Even though the results of CBT are so incredible, it is hard to see it through.
In addition to my wonderful husband and family, the main person who got me through was Gloria. Thank God for Gloria. She was born on the shores of Lake Michigan, where I would escape every morning to walk by the lake as I listened to Van Morrison and occasionally some Bob Dylan. Gloria’s name came from one of Van Morrison’s most famous songs, “Gloria” (performed prior to his solo career with his 1960s band, Them), and Zimmerman is a reference to the last name Bob Dylan was born with. She was a 22-year-old young woman with untreated OCD. In my mind, she helped me understand what my family was going through. She consoled me.
I have written a fiction account of Gloria, giving her the same happy ending we had. I was fortunate enough to get a New York agent on my first try. Publishers were very enthusiastic about the writing but they did not believe the depiction of OCD even though my book had been vetted by several prominent experts and lauded as “the first true depiction of OCD in fiction.” But it was so important that people really understand the internal torture of OCD and how it can be treated effectively so my husband and I formed our own independent Grant Place Press. The book has received rave reviews and there were will be several articles in prominent magazines.
Our society’s superficial understanding of OCD disregards the internal torture that people with OCD struggle with every day. They think they know OCD, judging friends and family and laughing at their ridiculous anal behavior. That’s so not OCD.
One of the taboo phrases in our house is “That’s so OCD.” We hear it so much in schools, offices, and other public spaces. It’s become part of our common parlance—when someone checks several times to make sure the car door is locked, when someone washes their hands religiously before and after every meal, and when someone is generally too nit-picky or anal. But OCD is more than a phrase or an insult, it is a disorder we think we know because we see it in film and television. Jack Nicholson in “As Good as it Gets;” Tony Shalhoub in “Monk;” and Jayma Mays in “Glee”. While Hollywood may have good intentions, it often focuses on the quirky behaviors (compulsions) OCD causes without addressing the real internal torture and obsessions that a person with OCD experiences.
It is difficult to really understand this internal torture unless you’ve experienced it first hand. Unfortunately, it is something my family knows all too well. One of my loved ones had always been picky and precise. We noticed it getting much worse, and eventually a chain of life-altering events ignited the long-latent OCD. The psychologist described the OCD as “conflagration” and we watched the disease consume one of our dearest family members, making it nearly impossible for this loved one to enjoy life.
The psychologist and psychiatrist informed us that if there was a chance of recovering from the OCD, it would have to be through the combination of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and medication. Both of these options seemed frightening, but it was more frightening watching the deterioration of someone so dear to us. Cognitive Behavior Therapy with its rigid “tough love” system of rewards and punishments seemed so archaic, but it was…and still is…the only therapy that has been proven successful in treating OCD. It is also called ERP which stands for Exposure and Response Therapy. We learned the hard way that OCD was not funny at all; it was internal torture. For the sufferer of OCD, it is as if there is an internal voice that compels destructive behaviors based on irrational obsessions to alleviate intense anxiety. The person with OCD knows these obsessions and compulsions are irrational but is gripped by the internal voice and its illusory promise of relief.
It requires exposing the person with OCD to what they are most anxious about so that they can prove to themselves and their internal OCD voice that they can tolerate the anxiety and that their fallacious assumption that world is coming to an end is not true. Thus for the OCD who is checker and cannot leave the house because she is afraid she left the burners on, she will have to gradually be forced to leave her house with the burners on. The OCD germaphobe may be forced to eat food from the floor.
CBT/ ERP is very painful for the person with OCD, forcing them to confront what they are most afraid of and what gives them short-term comfort (although like most addictions, it never lasts and they always need more). CBT/ ERP, however, is the only proven treatment that works and it can be more effective if coupled with medication. Our loved one got the help they needed and within just a few months the condition was dramatically improved. Everyone called it a miracle, but for the OCD community, it was a matter of course. Even though the results of CBT are so incredible, it is hard to see it through.
In addition to my wonderful husband and family, the main person who got me through was Gloria. Thank God for Gloria. She was born on the shores of Lake Michigan, where I would escape every morning to walk by the lake as I listened to Van Morrison and occasionally some Bob Dylan. Gloria’s name came from one of Van Morrison’s most famous songs, “Gloria” (performed prior to his solo career with his 1960s band, Them), and Zimmerman is a reference to the last name Bob Dylan was born with. She was a 22-year-old young woman with untreated OCD. In my mind, she helped me understand what my family was going through. She consoled me.
I have written a fiction account of Gloria, giving her the same happy ending we had. I was fortunate enough to get a New York agent on my first try. Publishers were very enthusiastic about the writing but they did not believe the depiction of OCD even though my book had been vetted by several prominent experts and lauded as “the first true depiction of OCD in fiction.” But it was so important that people really understand the internal torture of OCD and how it can be treated effectively so my husband and I formed our own independent Grant Place Press. The book has received rave reviews and there were will be several articles in prominent magazines.
Our society’s superficial understanding of OCD disregards the internal torture that people with OCD struggle with every day. They think they know OCD, judging friends and family and laughing at their ridiculous anal behavior. That’s so not OCD.
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