What is this stuff on my kale?

It's little raised, yellowish lumps which seem to be part of the leaf - you can't scrape them off with a fingernail without damaging the leaf. On the other side, there are corresponding pinprick holes.

I'm so aggravated. I bought enough for several meals, I have other ingredients ready that all depend on the kale also existing, and now I have a giant bagful of kale with creepy lumps all over it. Maybe I should just go out to eat.

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