Summer Depression?

Put on your dancing shoes… Here she comes…

Summer Depression?

See the source image I have seen so many posts on social media with people expressing their sudden anxiety, sadness and/or lack in doing things. I have, also, talked to several friends who have expressed the same problems. You see on shows, when it is summer time, people running around, enjoying the sun, laughing, and having a good time. But it’s just that…a show. In real life, summer is just like the other three seasons. It can bring just as many stressors. I am personally experiencing the anxiety, sadness, and lack in doing things. (Grant it, I do suffer from anxiety and depression- I do take medication for them both- however, this summer my meds aren’t helping much)

What are some of my stressors this summer?

My two younger sons are out of school for summer break. They have been out of school since the end of May.
One of the two younger sons has special needs. (I mention him a lot in my blogs. He has autism, mood disorder, schizophrenia, and going through PUBERTY!)
Trying to entertain the boys without going financially in the hole.
The two rarely like doing the same thing. One is a social butterfly and wants to play with others 24-7 and the other one wouldn’t care if everyone fell off the planet.
Being an author is stressing me. I am losing interest and hope in my writing ability. It used to be fun. Now I find myself wanting to cry when I see that I have had no sales for so long.
Even when I do find the spark to write, something is going crazy in my house. (i.e. youngest is mad at YouTube, 13 year old is mad at youngest who is screaming at YouTube, 13 year old is having an outburst and verbally/physically attacking me)
My weight. I want to not look in the mirror and want to cry. Yes. This is a very personal stressor to share with all of you, but it is reality. I don’t want to hold back & make all of you, who are reading this think that I am ‘perfect’ in any sense. I am very unsecure. I had to go on medication for my depression/anxiety/etc. a few years back. The medication was Abilify and I gained sooooooo much weight. But it was medication that makes me gain a lot of weight or me staying with suicidal idealization. Now, I am back on track mentally (for the most part), but my weight is slapping me in the face.
Because of my weight problem, I have recently cut out soda and coffee. Let me tell you, cutting myself cold turkey, during summer break, and having the boys home is/was a HORRIBLE idea.
Not having date nights with the other half. It is almost impossible (unless my mother is here) to find someone who can watch AND handle my 13 year old. His track record with babysitters is the reason that I am a stay-at-home mom and cannot work. I desperately want to work. That’s another stressor…
Being stuck at home all the time, unless I am with the family or grocery shopping by myself (Yay, me! Hanging out with the people in Walmart. That’s always fun and stress free. **Eye Roll**)
Having no friends here. Because of my family issues, I am unable to make friends. My family is all I have. I have friends online, who I love dearly and appreciate. I just wish I was able to hangout with them face to face. Go places with them. Sit at a restaurant or bar somewhere, sipping on drinks, having a few appetizers and laughing about stupid stuff. However, I don’t have that.
Jealousy of others. Seeing the posts on social media of those I know going out and doing things. Having fun. Living life to the fullest. It gets me in a slump. It isn’t their fault. And I would never blame them for sharing with the world their happiness. I’m just being a party pooper. (Shrugs)

The list can go on and on. My point is, we’re all struggling. Sometimes we need to sit down, make a list of our stressors and tackle them or at least reflect on them. I know I was reflecting on my stressors as I was typing my list. Most are out of my control. I am hoping that knowing what my stressor is that I will be able to accept it or at least cope with it since I have identified them. Does that make sense of what I am trying to say? I hope so.

Despite my super long list of stressors and chaotic life, I do want to let you all know one thing…I am ALWAYS here if you need a listening ear or shoulder to cry on. I may be multi-tasking as I do it, but I am always here. Don’t ever think that you are alone in this world. Don’t ever think that you aren’t appreciated. Don’t ever think that you have to walk alone in this world. I am here for you. Always.

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