Search for the Weirdest Conference Paper Abstract

As a follow-on from the wanky research centre search, it's time for the weirdest conference paper. One rule, they must be actual conference papers and not mock-ups.

For starters, here is one by Thor Beowulf (brilliant name - I always wanted to call one of my kids Tim-Boer) for a conference at Monash later this year:

The silent narrative of trees in the cultural/religious landscape

This paper will concern itself with the existential agency of trees in the cultural/religious experience. Throughout...