Making thinly disguised threats to flounce off in the righteous style | The Fiver

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Newcastle United are past masters at getting themselves into easily avoidable relegation trouble. And already it looks like history is in danger of repeating itself for the north-east giants. The team hasn’t been playing well in pre-season, while the club’s activity in the transfer market has been the usual flabby and flatulent fiasco. Rafa Benítez has again been promised a table, but this time he’s not even getting a lamp. So the hopes and dreams of the ever-beleaguered but always passionate Toon faithful are once more extinguished, like a roaring fire suddenly doused with a 12-pint blanket of the richest vodka-flavoured vomit.

Related: ‘I’m really worried’: Rafael Benítez concerned over Newcastle’s outlook

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